What Men Talk About At The Cigar Lounge, REVEALED | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The secrets of the cigar lounge have been kept tightly under wraps for centuries, with women left to only speculate about the pearls of wisdom, mind-opening philosophies, and inimitable truths of life that are birthed in such an intimate, masculine setting.

    Now, all will be REVEALED as The Babylon Bee reveals the truth about what men talk about in smoke-filled cigar lounges:

• Cigars: This one seems pretty self-explanatory, actually.
• Tom Selleck's mustache: Many a cigar has been smoked while pondering its wonder.
• How many bears you could fight simultaneously for one minute without dying: An age-old question of manhood.
• Leaving our lousy desk jobs to become burly sailors who go on monthslong voyages to the Orient for priceless treasure: A man can dream!
• The throw pillow sale next weekend at Kohl's: It's a dynamite sale.
• How many Roman legions you could singlehandedly defeat if you could go back in time with a machine gun and unlimited ammo: The question that has captured so many great thinkers.
• The shortcomings of the overly limited epistemological approach of René Descartes in his Meditations, and subsequent harm wrought through a loss of healthy mysticism: Alas, Descartes! If you could have but settled for accepting a healthy epistemic uncertainty!
• The composition of the Tri-Force in the Legend of Zelda: Better light another cigar for this one.
• If anyone else is pretending to like cigars just to look cool: Haha, yeah, just kidding! Not us, either.

    The cat is out of the bag! Now that you know what's being discussed, you have no choice but to respect the importance of the cigar lounge and the special place it holds in the lives of men.