Absolute Sociopath Of A Friend Calling You Just To Talk | Eastern North Carolina Now

Authorities have advised the public to be on the lookout due to an obviously sociopathic friend of yours who may be calling you just to talk. Officials warn that this type of action from your friend is a clear indication that they are, in fact, a total weirdo.

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BLUE SPRINGS, MO     Authorities have advised the public to be on the lookout due to an obviously sociopathic friend of yours who may be calling you just to talk. Officials warn that this type of action from your friend is a clear indication that they are, in fact, a total weirdo.

    "Why would my friend do that?" asked John Garrett upon learning the news. "More importantly, why would I want to be friends with someone who...you know...wants to like, call me and stuff. That's just...weird. Why would he...why?"

    Garrett's friend, a now-suspected sociopath identified as one Brad Jones, is believed to be wanting to call John up "just to chat for a bit." As the news spread among John's family and other friends, their concern about Brad's mental state grew. "That's just not normal," said John's wife, Erica. "It's 2023. He wants to call John? Like...on the phone? That's just disturbing."

    In an age where a greater emphasis is being placed on warning signs of mental health crises, more and more people are casting sideways glances at family and acquaintances who make contact via telephone. "Phone calls are for emergencies, end of story," said Sociology Professor Blake Rumsey of the Knowledge Institute. "Any other type of contact made by telephone in today's world should be taken as a massive red flag of psychosis."

    At publishing time, with family gathered around him for both emotional support and protection, John was waiting anxiously by his phone, wringing his hands and silently hoping that a meteor would strike his home and prevent him from having to take the call.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

9 Ways To Scare Off Californians Looking To Move Into Your Neighborhood Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Woman Gently Asks Husband If He's Planning On Taking Off His Roman Soldier Halloween Costume Anytime Soon


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

"The largest deportation effort in American history is going to have one hell of a co-pilot," one organization exclaimed.
"border czar" is supporter of wide open illegal immigration
There are alternatives. Our best and brightest should seek them out


It is time we elected new board members who will speak up for the people
Short of some unforeseen catastrophe Trump will win easily.
Former President Donald Trump once again addressed the proposed transition policies in the Heritage Foundation’s “Project 2025,” saying in a social media post on Wednesday night that Democrats are trying to deceptively “hook” him with those proposals.
Obama led defenstration of Biden succeeds; party bosses control nomination
wokeness including DEI an CRT are pervasive under Biden DOD
After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
Biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy told The Daily Wire on Monday that he would “strongly consider” replacing J.D. Vance as U.S. senator from Ohio now that former President Donald Trump has picked Vance to be his running mate for the 2024 election.
For the second year in a row, Raleigh was ranked as the overall best place for veterans to live in the United States, according to a WalletHub report. Charlotte, Durham, Greensboro, and Winston-Salem came in 26th, 35th, 48th, and 51st overall, respectively.


DNC denied primary debates and rigged primaries for Biden
Less than 24 hours after a failed assassination attempt against former President Donald Trump — which left one bystander dead and three others, including Trump, injured — The Atlantic’s David Frum blamed the violence on the former president and his supporters.
The Biden campaign fired back at actor George Clooney on Wednesday after Clooney called for President Joe Biden to drop out of the presidential race, suggesting that the 81-year-old president has better stamina than Clooney.
In a controversial new episode of Paw Patrol that aired this week on Nick Jr., Chase gets neutered so he can become the world's first transgender pup.
Ray Epps, the man accused by many of being involved with federal law enforcement during the January 6, 2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol, said over the weekend that Fox News host Tucker Carlson was “obsessed” with him and trying to ruin his life.
Cotton has been mentioned as a possible running mate for former President Donald Trump.
In order to let President Biden feel like he is still working, the White House has installed a "Touch-And-Learn" activity desk for Biden to play at while First Lady Jill Biden runs the country.


Back to Top