God Agrees To Spare D.C. From Destruction If He Finds Just 10 Staffers Without A Gay Sex Tape

Latest Polls (view all)

Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.86% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.14% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

Click Here to Vote
88 Vote(s)

View all Polls

God Agrees To Spare D.C. From Destruction If He Finds Just 10 Staffers Without A Gay Sex Tape

Published: Sunday, March 17th, 2024 @ 8:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     With news of still more lewd U.S. Congress incidents circulating, a local man reported a mysterious encounter he had in which God agreed to spare the nation's capital from divine destruction if He finds just 10 congressional staffers who have not filmed a gay sex tape in the Capitol building.

    "He still seemed pretty confident He'd be breaking out the fire and brimstone," said Abe Oldman, the man who claimed to have spoken with God. "I was standing outside my house, thinking about how crazy things were getting in this city when I noticed what appeared to be three men walking toward me. I had my wife fix them a light snack while I talked to them. One of them, who I felt strongly was the embodiment of God Himself, commanded the other two men to continue walking toward D.C."

    What happened next, according to Oldman, could only be described as a negotiation for the very fate of the entire city. "He said he was going to completely destroy the whole town," Abe said. "I asked him 'What if there are 50 decent congressional staffers there?' and He answered me 'If there are 50 decent ones, I'll spare the place.' I kept trying to negotiate. I went down to 45, then 40, then 30, then 20. He kept saying he'd let D.C. off the hook if there were that many staffers with no gay sex tape. Eventually, with my final plea, I got Him to agree to spare the place if He could find just 10 staffers with no gay sex tape."

    At publishing time, Oldman didn't have high hopes for the outcome. "Yeah, turns out there probably aren't even 10 non-gay-sex-tape staffers," he said. "He's totally going to roast the place."

Go Back