Parents Take Gen Z Kid Who Doesn’t Have Anxiety Or Depression To Therapist To Find Out What’s Wrong | Eastern North Carolina Now

A teenage member of Generation Z, whose name is sealed by court records, was persuaded to attend several therapy sessions after her parents grew concerned with her lack of anxiety or depression.

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SCOTTSDALE, AZ     A teenage member of Generation Z, whose name is sealed by court records, was persuaded to attend several therapy sessions after her parents grew concerned with her lack of anxiety or depression.

    "Doc, what's wrong? She seems so normal!" the young woman's father said. "I wake up every morning with a crippling panic attack that makes me lash out at the people I love, but she doesn't have that. Why could that be?"

    "We're very concerned," her mother added. "She seems perfectly adjusted on the surface and that's what scares me. Does this mean she's a serial killer? Hannibal looked pretty well-adjusted since he was a doctor - no offense - but he ate people. Is she going to eat people?"

    The therapist, a part-time social worker at the local YMCA, first clarified that she was not a doctor before prescribing a brand-new iPhone 15 Pro Max loaded with TikTok and Instagram. "Welp, here's your problem," said the licensed therapist. "It would seem that your own anxiety has sabotaged your daughter's. You were so afraid of her being stalked by strangers on the Internet or having her identity stolen by Russian spies that you never gave her a phone. She needs to spend some real quality time on social media."

    "Brilliant!" the girl's father lamented. "How could we have missed it? We'll buy her a phone immediately!"

    The helpful therapist wrote them a referral to a psychiatrist who could prescribe the abnormally normal Gen Z teen some anti-depressants. "If she's not sad now, she will be," he assured her parents.

    At publishing time, the Gen Z teen is now a recovering normal.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

‘Play Hallelujah Chorus!' Shout Hecklers To Handel At 18th-Century Reunion Tour Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics God Agrees To Spare D.C. From Destruction If He Finds Just 10 Staffers Without A Gay Sex Tape


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

It is time we elected new board members who will speak up for the people
Short of some unforeseen catastrophe Trump will win easily.
Former President Donald Trump once again addressed the proposed transition policies in the Heritage Foundation’s “Project 2025,” saying in a social media post on Wednesday night that Democrats are trying to deceptively “hook” him with those proposals.
Obama led defenstration of Biden succeeds; party bosses control nomination
wokeness including DEI an CRT are pervasive under Biden DOD
After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
Biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy told The Daily Wire on Monday that he would “strongly consider” replacing J.D. Vance as U.S. senator from Ohio now that former President Donald Trump has picked Vance to be his running mate for the 2024 election.
For the second year in a row, Raleigh was ranked as the overall best place for veterans to live in the United States, according to a WalletHub report. Charlotte, Durham, Greensboro, and Winston-Salem came in 26th, 35th, 48th, and 51st overall, respectively.


DNC denied primary debates and rigged primaries for Biden
Less than 24 hours after a failed assassination attempt against former President Donald Trump — which left one bystander dead and three others, including Trump, injured — The Atlantic’s David Frum blamed the violence on the former president and his supporters.
The Biden campaign fired back at actor George Clooney on Wednesday after Clooney called for President Joe Biden to drop out of the presidential race, suggesting that the 81-year-old president has better stamina than Clooney.
In a controversial new episode of Paw Patrol that aired this week on Nick Jr., Chase gets neutered so he can become the world's first transgender pup.
Ray Epps, the man accused by many of being involved with federal law enforcement during the January 6, 2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol, said over the weekend that Fox News host Tucker Carlson was “obsessed” with him and trying to ruin his life.
Cotton has been mentioned as a possible running mate for former President Donald Trump.
In order to let President Biden feel like he is still working, the White House has installed a "Touch-And-Learn" activity desk for Biden to play at while First Lady Jill Biden runs the country.


Former President Donald Trump said during a radio hit on Friday that he would be willing to take a cognitive test alongside President Joe Biden to let voters see the mental state of each presidential candidate.
wife of Washington Post's Max Boot indicted under Foreign Agents Registration Act
NBC News’ Chuck Todd said Tuesday that Biden’s declining cognitive health has been an “open secret” for years, revealing that a senior cabinet member from the Biden administration suggested in 2022 that the president cannot run for reelection.
Democrats pushing offshore wind are a theat to NC beaches as well


Back to Top