The Biden Administration's Top 10 Accomplishments Of 2023 | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    From the border to the economy, President Biden has accomplished feats in 2023 that no one ever saw coming. With so many incredible achievements for the Biden administration this year, narrowing them down was no easy task! Here are the top ten accomplishments of the Biden administration in 2023:

  1. Reduced obesity in America by making food unaffordable: So simple.
  2. Cleaned up all the cocaine bags someone was leaving around the White House: Decency restored!
  3. Kept American hostages safe from junk fees during their stay with Hamas: Not one single junk fee!
  4. Set all-time record for people illegally streaming into the U.S.: Because he's the most popular President ever. Numbers don't lie.
  5. Raised dementia awareness by 400%: Also, sandbag awareness.
  6. Created record numbers of new billionaires: They're all in Ukraine, but still.
  7. Promoted transparency by releasing several "Behind-the-Scenes" videos from Capitol staffers: Campaign promise, delivered.
  8. Saved democracy by arresting political opponents and not allowing people to vote for anyone else: Thanks, Joe!
  9. Set new record by spending 40% of time on vacation: Finally giving Delaware Beach the attention it so richly deserves.
  10. Heroically stayed alive to save America from a Kamala Harris Presidency: We salute you, Mr. Biden!

    What can't Biden do?? We can't wait to see what Joe has up his sleeve in 2024!
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