Scandal: Taylor Swift Photographed On Romantic Night Out With Pop Tart Guy | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NASHVILLE, TN     Taylor Swift has set the internet ablaze once again after a photographer caught the superstar out on a romantic date with Pop Tart Guy.

    Though the couple attempted to be clandestine by sneaking in and out the restaurant's back entrance, the enormous anthropomorphic pastry gave the pair away. According to wait staff, Swift could not stop gazing into Pop Tart Guy's unblinking eyes, and a smile literally never left his face.

    Despite no reports that Swift had ditched current boyfriend Travis Kelce, the pictures tell an undeniably romantic tale between Swift and Pop Tart Guy. The two were spotted holding hands as they attempted to leave, however Pop Tart Guy could not fit into their car due to his unwieldy shape and size. Valet service members stated Swift got "a bit handsy" trying to stuff Pop Tart Guy in the back seat before giving up and calling for an SUV.

    With no comment yet from the Swift or Kelce camp, fans have been left to wonder what will become of the delicious love triangle. "I'm team Strawberry," said Swift fan Rebecca Bridges. "Sure, Kelce is a superstar football player. At the end of the day though, you want to come home to the one you can count on. Has a strawberry pop tart ever let you down? No way. He's the one for Taylor!"

    At publishing time, Pop Tart Guy was spotted on Swift's private plane, still holding his sign declaring that "Dreams really do come true".