An offshoot of the popular Chick-fil-A restaurant has been opened by Seventh-Day Adventist Church members and will reportedly be closed on Saturdays, but open on Sundays.
Published: Monday, March 4th, 2024 @ 2:14 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Finding a good, Christian girl has never been harder. That's why The Babylon Bee is here to help out by offering you this tried and tested list of the absolute best places to look.
Published: Tuesday, February 20th, 2024 @ 3:53 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a startling new study reviewed by Congress, it was revealed that a staggering 3 million Americans lost their lives last year fishing around in the crack of their seats while driving for lost Chick-fil-A waffle fries.
Published: Tuesday, February 20th, 2024 @ 10:20 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Move over all other stores! A new, super-popular shopping destination is in town. Chick-fil-A, Buc-ee's, and Hobby Lobby have all reportedly merged into one conglomerate, instantly making it the most popular store of all time.
Published: Wednesday, February 7th, 2024 @ 1:17 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The chain is seemingly being targeted for its "terrible record on LGBT rights."
Published: Thursday, January 25th, 2024 @ 12:28 am
By: Daily Wire
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In an announcement sure to cause celebration across the nation, food chain Chick-fil-A has unveiled plans to add a tire rotation, oil change, car wash, and tax preparation services to their astoundingly efficient drive-thru lanes.
Published: Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024 @ 11:41 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local Chick-fil-A ground to a halt Wednesday after an employee accidentally told another employee, "My pleasure." As a result, the pair of employees became trapped in an endless loop of "my pleasure" with no end in sight.
Published: Wednesday, December 6th, 2023 @ 2:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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RALEIGH: Chick-fil-A Supply, a wholly owned subsidiary of Chick-fil-A, Inc., and distribution service provider of the chain’s restaurants, will create more than 85 jobs in Rowan County, Governor Roy Cooper announced today.
Published: Monday, October 9th, 2023 @ 11:44 pm
By: Governor's Office
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As his first act, Chick-fil-A's new VP of Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion Erick McReynolds has revised company vocab guidelines, requiring white employees to move away from simple phrases like "my pleasure" and instead use preferred equitable language such as, "my privilege."
Published: Monday, August 7th, 2023 @ 6:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Sources in Hades have announced that Satan will finally be opening the underworld's first Chick-fil-A franchise, but it will only serve cauliflower sandwiches.
Published: Wednesday, February 15th, 2023 @ 1:27 am
By: Babylon Bee
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ATLANTA, GA — Chick-fil-A has announced a new cauliflower sandwich as part of an effort to reach new customers in the godless heathen community.
Published: Tuesday, February 14th, 2023 @ 12:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Scholars now believe that the disciples who handed out food so ably to the five-thousand may have in fact been Chick-fil-A employees.
Published: Friday, February 10th, 2023 @ 8:47 am
By: Babylon Bee
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While the nationwide labor shortage has been widely reported, one local Chick-Fil-A has suffered from an acute need for more workers. The store manager for the Omaha location says his location is staffed well below the nationwide average, with only 68 people working his drive-thru line.
Published: Thursday, January 26th, 2023 @ 2:13 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Despite continued growth and financial success, fast food chain Chick-Fil-A has received a word of warning from an unexpected source
Published: Sunday, December 11th, 2022 @ 5:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Moses delivered the Lord's command to Israel that every family must gather a double portion of Chick-fil-A on Saturday, knowing that none may be gathered on the Sabbath.
Published: Thursday, October 20th, 2022 @ 5:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Not all heroes wear capes, but lots of them wear red polos and goofy-looking yellow suspenders. Here we have collected nine legendary tales of when Chick-fil-A employees literally saved a customer's life in the drive-thru:
Published: Saturday, October 8th, 2022 @ 2:14 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Chick-fil-A marketing executives announced Monday that they were "shocked and embarrassed" to discover that the cows they hired to run their marketing department have been making "egregious and inexcusable spelling errors" for years.
Published: Friday, September 30th, 2022 @ 12:53 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The world's leading Christian fast food chain suffered a tragedy today as the manager of a local Chick-Fil-A was apparently struck dead shortly after playing secular music in the restaurant.
Published: Sunday, September 18th, 2022 @ 1:07 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Chick-fil-A has finally come around to celebrating pride month this year. The fast-food company has announced that throughout June, all waffle fries will be covered in salt from Lot's wife.
Published: Friday, June 10th, 2022 @ 10:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Chick-fil-A, one of the nation’s leading quick service restaurant companies, will locate a major distribution center in Alamance County
Published: Tuesday, December 1st, 2020 @ 3:04 pm
By: Governor's Office
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Universities may be banning Chick-fil-A, but President Trump's White House has not, and that's just way too triggering for some LGBTQ activists.
Published: Saturday, March 9th, 2019 @ 1:46 pm
By: Daily Wire
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On Friday, The New Yorker honed in on a serious threat to the lives of all New Yorkers: the arrival of Chick-Fil-A in their homey little corner of the universe.
Published: Sunday, April 15th, 2018 @ 9:40 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Angels N Camo has granted another wish and a dream has come true for a young man. Jalen Bryant of Cove City had a dream of going offshore fishing and catching a "big one."
Published: Tuesday, September 10th, 2013 @ 1:48 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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Four out of ten voters call themselves Liberal. The actual percentage is 21%. However, this small percentage controls fully the Democratic Party.
Published: Saturday, September 22nd, 2012 @ 2:54 pm
By: Marvin Sparks
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In a word, no. And while free speech is essential to forge a nation that ever strives to protect the liberty and justice that was so hard won, free speech, for the individual, does not come without the tethered responsibility of good citizenship.
Published: Thursday, August 2nd, 2012 @ 2:43 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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