Chick-Fil-A Courts Godless Heathen Community With Cauliflower Sandwich | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ATLANTA, GA     Chick-fil-A has announced a new cauliflower sandwich as part of an effort to reach new customers in the godless heathen community.

    "Let's face it, not everyone likes the Lord's blessed chicken," said Chick-fil-A menu director Leslie Neslage to reporters. "With this new cauliflower sandwich, we hope to attract a whole new clientele of godless Communist heathens to our restaurant!"

    The new Cauliflower-fil-A is a boneless breast of cauliflower breaded and cooked to perfection in peanut oil, served with two pickle chips on a buttered, toasted bun. "Cover this thing in gobs of Chick-fil-A sauce and you won't even know the difference!" continued Neslage. "Let's face it - everyone knows our food is just a vehicle for the sauce anyway. All you people want is our sauce."

    Already the Cauliflower-fil-A is creating a stir among vegans, heathens, and people who ride bicycles in the middle of the road. The company is hoping for 12% increase in revenue from these new markets.

    The Cauliflower-fil-A will be served with a side of waffle cricket fries.