Grunt Humor – A Paisan with Nine Lives | Eastern NC Now

    During one of the many village sweeps we made, the unit drew some fire from a village and had to clear the area. This usually involved warning the villagers to leave as we searched the hooch's. While we were searching the area, we received fire from a straw hut. Vinny (Real name) maneuvered over to a window and decided to throw a grenade in. In true John Wayne fashion he pulled the pin, cooked the grenade (let the fuse burn for a second before throwing it), and threw it in the door opening. All would have been fine except he then flattened himself against the side of the straw hut and waited for the grenade to explode. Does anyone think that straw will stop shrapnel? The grenade exploded and blew the roof off the hut and the sides fell in. The explosion threw Vinny about six feet from the hooch. It was a miracle it did not kill him. But Vinny was one of those guys who had more lives than a cat. He was not even hurt. When we realized that he was OK, we all laughed and began to tease him for pulling such a stupid prank.

    Vinny was from the Bronx, in New York. This was before I had ever seen "Good Fella", "The Godfather" or any of the gangster movies of the 1970's. Every time I see a new Mafia oriented movie, I look carefully to see if old Vinny is in it. Most of those guys are good actors, but Vinny was the real deal. It was not an act. Like most Italians, he could not talk without his hands. Over the years, I have met many Italians from that city and have come to know that most of them have the same demeanor. Vinny used to tell the story of how he got in the Army and I have stolen part of his recitation. He apparently was a numbers runner back in the world. After his arrest, he was given the opportunity to serve his sentence one of two ways. You have all heard the story, army or jail. Of course, I had to adapt it to my southern accent. I could never mimic his persona. I tell people, "I'll never forget day three of us enlisted in the Army, me and the two MP dragging me".

    Vinny used another one of his nine lives when we were working the Michelin rubber plantation just outside of Dau Tieng. All the rubber trees are in nice neat rows like an orchard.
Rubber Plantation: Above.
    We had just stopped to "take a load off" (Break). That is the queue to "smoke em if you got em". Well Vinny never carried cigarettes; he just bummed them off everybody else.

    They were free to us grunts. He drops his pack and gear and wanders over to one of the guys to bum a smoke. Just then, a squad of VC walked right into our perimeter. The lead flew and there was Vinny stuck between two rubber trees without a weapon and not knowing which way to go. Like a baseball runner caught between bases, he went one way then the other. Finally, he hits the ground and tries to make like a leaf (lying as flat as you can). After everything had settled down, we found out no one injured. Vinny gets up and then heads back over to the same guy asking for another cigarette. One of the guys yells, "Hey Vinny, don't you want your 16 (M16)." "Naw, those VC (sanitized) are long gone by now".

    Just for the record, He was awarded the Purple Heart and Bronze Star for valor for action later in his tour. He returned to NY safe and sound. I often wonder how many of those five or six lives he still has left. I hope it's a bunch.