The Donald doesn't like pushy women. | Eastern North Carolina Now

    He has decided to skip the Republican debate, at least that is what is saying now.

    I was sitting at my local watering hole drinking my "Cranberry Sans" cocktail. Since I quit drinking alcohol a few years ago, that has been my drink of choice. I still enjoy the comradery at the old bar but with the clarity of thought that comes with sobriety, I have found that not all the things said at Jack's Bar are carefully considered opinion.

    The announcement came over the tube above the bar (Next to the KENO screen) that The Donald was not going to participate in the upcoming Republican Debate on Fox because he felt they were being unfair to him. Apparently he has a problem with one of the female moderators, Megyn Kelly. The bar discussion centered around the fact that she was a pushy b!tch and The Donald was right to withdraw from the debate.

    One of our better 'know it all's' said," I guess that will show Fox that they can't push Donald around. Another one said that Donald was just saying what everyone was thinking. Still another said that he would solve all the problems with the stroke of a pen. Since I was experiencing the deep effects of the "Cranberry Sans" I just sat there and kept my mouth shut. That's something I did not always do when I was imbued with the wisdom of Jack'D. The other reason was that was I looking up and down the wooden altar to pontification and I suddenly realized that many of these guys are the low information voters that the right always seems to complain about.

    Don't get me wrong, I learned long ago that the proper protocol for bar talk is not to reach a reasonable solution to any problem. The purpose of these watering holes is to allow testosterone to flow unabated with any rational thought. No one really takes any of this serious because we usually don't have our self-governing guidance counselor with us. The ability to blurt out our thoughts without a filter is what makes the local economy flourish. It is the stuff that legends are made of. It is where we can recount our moments of glory unabated by any factual backup.

    I forgot where I was going with this. It is not comforting to know that the "Cranberry Sans" did not prevent those lapses of continuity that I thought were the side effects of Jack'D. Oh yeah, I remember now. It occurred to me that I may end up having to vote for this Joke of a leader who attracts so much attention just because he is a blowhard. Then, I had a moment of clarity and realized that the poor guy is like me. He just wants to be center of attention and to do that he will say something outrageous just to attract a crowd. I also had a passing thought that he may be setting everyone up for his eventual departure from the electoral process with a simple "You people are not ready for my leadership".

    I returned home with the comforting thought that other people with real solutions may then be able to present a path to our reverse our fast track to socialism. When I woke up this morning, I had a renewed faith in our country. While I was doing my morning reading on the porcelain throne, I had got a whiff of the faint smell of some foul odor that seemed to hang in the air. If he stays in the race and eventually becomes the Republican candidate, I realized that given the alternatives, I would have to vote for him. Since I have been trained by my guidance counselor to shut the door to my library while I am contemplating life, I quickly switched on the fan to remove the smell.

    That is when it occurred to me. I sure hope the voting booth has a fan. I would hate to read all the local amendments and proposals with that foul stench still in the air.

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