25 Things More Effective Than The COVID Vaccine | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    New documents confirm the COVID vaccine is only 12% effective! Oh well... they tried. And everyone had fun, didn't they?

    Here are a few things that ended up being more effective than the vaccine:

    1) CNN+

    2) Telling your wife to calm down

    3) The prayer of an unrighteous man

    4) "No Firearms Allowed" sign

    5) Infant Baptism

    6) Simply walking into Mordor

    7) Wuhan Lab safety protocols

    8) Amber Heard's publicist

    9) Voting Republican in California

    10) Opioids

    11) Anti-piracy ads

    12) Chiropractors

    13) Jeffrey Toobin's "Turn Off Camera" Button

    14) Truth Social

    15) Public campaign to launch the Governance Disinformation Board

    16) SNL

    17) Faith without works

    18) Blowing up a system that's too remote for an effective demonstration such as Dantooine

    19) Defund the police movement

    20) Parenting teens

    21) Trump's spray tan

    22) Pelosi's facelifts

    23) Female preaching

    24) Kamala Harris

    25) Ice-type move against Steel-type Pokémon

    Whew! Did that seem like a lot? There's more where that came from but our eyes were starting to glaze over. We have had a harder time focusing ever since our myocarditis scare.