Biden Repeats False Claim He Once Had An Abortion | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     Just days after making an accurate, fact-based claim that MAGA was "the most extreme political organization in recent American history," President Joe Biden fell back into his habit of making false assertions about his past, this time claiming he had once had an abortion.

    "Back in the, around the, in the 1970s when I was a, you know, a young, single black woman, I had to make a choice between keeping or killing, or killing or keeping the where was I, the dead child, or you know putting food on the table," claimed the real President behind a fake lectern in a fake press room with fake windows on the set of a fake White House.

    Biden continued, "Back then I was trucking cross-country while fighting street gangs and marching with Rodney King to protest the Klondike Bar Klan, I had no choice but to murder my unborn child. Molasses."

    Fact-checkers labeled the President's claims as mostly true, then pulled bottles of hard liquor from their desk drawers and drank until the warmth of inebriation gave them fleeting respite from the gaping, hollow void that ceaselessly harrowed their souls.

    Biden has promised to fight hard until every woman has the right to "flapjack the waffle iron on a frumdiggle torcraprezsure" just like he did.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Worried About Roe Getting Overturned? Avoid Getting Pregnant With This One Foolproof Trick! Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Report: Zero Males Affected As Feminists Go On Sex Strike


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

most voters think EU officials not doing a good job on illegal immigration
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it
Come from behind by GOP candidate is a blueprint to 2024
Biden spending and energy policies to blame
Tuberculosis carried by illegal invaders has already infected Texas cattle
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said this week that the only campaign promise President Joe Biden has delivered on as president is the complete dismantling of the U.S. southern border.
Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
President Joe Biden’s brother told the Internal Revenue Service that Hunter Biden told him he was in business with a “protege of President Xi,” referring to the leader of China, according to notes by an IRS investigator that were divulged during a congressional interview of Jim Biden.

HbAD1

Gov. Roy Cooper seeks a temporary restraining order to block a law changing the composition of the State Board of Elections.
X owner Elon Musk mocked a news segment from ABC News this week that promoted President Joe Biden’s talking points about the Democrat-led Senate’s failed border bill, which critics and many experts have said would make the situation on the border worse.
That’s the question Marguerite Roza of Georgetown University’s Edunomics Lab sought to answer in a recent webinar on the topic.
The University of Florida has fired all of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) employees and shut down its DEI office.
Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.
Glenn Beck: 'When the United States government can come after individuals, that's when you know our republic is crumbling.'
Rep. Mark Green (R-TN) reportedly blasted Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas for “stonewalling” details about the illegal immigrant accused of murdering Laken Riley, a 22-year-old Georgia college student.
Financial asset manager BlackRock said in its annual report that environmental, social, and governance policies could hurt its bottom line after Republican state officials cut ties with the company over its ties to China and climate activism.

HbAD2

Daily Wire host Matt Walsh passed away Monday aboard Southwest Airlines Flight WN2208 after the passenger in front of him reclined her seat and crushed him to death, officials announced.
“The Biden administration's plan in the Middle East is to hand over power to the Palestinian Authority, which literally pays the families of terrorists who murder Jews.”
Washington, D.C. — Congressman Greg Murphy, M.D. issued the following statement on the latest continuing resolution:
The official cause of death for Rick Harrison’s son Adam has been revealed by the coroner’s office.
Two Democratic members of North Carolina’s congressional delegation are ranked among the most likely to be picked off in 2024, according to a new analysis from Roll Call.
Another artificial intelligence tool has been accused of wreaking havoc with the racial reality of history.
In what has been talked about as a "last-ditch attempt" to avoid all-out war, Texas has announced it has agreed to a two-state solution with the city of Austin. Officials hope this distinction will help calm decades of growing hostilities in the region.
UVA's anti-Israel student group used images of Hamas's Oct 7 attack to call for solidarity in 'resisting the occupation'
WASHINGTON – Today, as Joe Biden continues his Bankrupting America Tour in North Carolina, Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel released the following statement:

HbAD3

 
Back to Top