Orthodox Star Wars Fans Prepare To Celebrate 'May The 11th Be With You' | Beaufort County Now | Orthodox Star Wars fans have reportedly begun preparations for Star Wars Day, which they say occurs on May 11th.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CONSTANTINOPLE     Orthodox Star Wars fans have reportedly begun preparations for Star Wars Day, which they say occurs on May 11th. They view the more popular "May the 4th" as a valid holiday on a heretical day.

    Orthodox Star Wars Day is celebrated similarly to its "May the 4th" twin, but all the decorations have "May the 11th Be With You" printed on them. Orthodox fans also do not recognize the prequel or sequel trilogies and consider the expanded universe (collection of novels under the 'Legends' brand) as part of the Star Wars canon.

    "Boba Fett's real name is Jaster Mereel!" orthodox fans can often be heard shouting on May the 11th.

    The lack of a pun in the holiday's name famously caused Mark Hamil, who portrayed Luke Skywalker, to pull his support from any fan events related to the orthodox holiday.

    "It's quite simple," explained Boris Stojakavich, a patriarch amongst orthodox fans. "Typical Star Wars fans are on the Gregorian Calendar instituted by the Catholic church. We are on the Galactic Standard Calendar-the actual calendar of the Star Wars galaxy-so the holiday occasionally lags behind the schismatic fans."

    "So you see-our timeline is correct. May the 11th be with you!"

    When reached for comment, Lucasfilm head Kathleen Kennedy only said that there is one Star Wars Day recognized by the company. "And even if they had a valid claim it doesn't matter. I AM STAR WARS!" raged Kennedy.
Go Back


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

ERIC was created with money from Soros' Open Society Institute
As many as 10,000 cattle have died amid triple-digit temperatures in Kansas, and more livestock could perish over the next several days, according to reports.
The N.C. Supreme Court has rejected a lawsuit challenging the Greenville red-light camera law as an unconstitutional local health act.
White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki refused to answer questions on Monday about matters related to President Joe Biden’s son, Hunter Biden, including a newly released book and his foreign investments.
Following the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Democrats nationwide have been accusing the Supreme Court of taking rights from "women." Onlookers have confirmed this to be confusing, as it seems to suggest that Democrats do in fact know what a woman is.
President Joe Biden will sign a “historic” executive order Wednesday ordering the Department of Health and Human Services to expand efforts to increase the ability of Americans (including children) who identify as transgender to obtain sex-change surgeries.
Two new N.C. Supreme Court decisions set a 40-year maximum prison sentence for violent juvenile offenders, regardless of the number or severity of their crimes.
Intentional destruction of the USA


Retired NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar slammed Los Angeles’ Lakers player LeBron James after James recently gloated over an opposing team by making an “obscene gesture,” saying that the truly greatest players of all time do not need to gloat.
A few days ago, as I was finishing shaving, my wife mentioned that she had an upset stomach. So I handed her 2 Tums and set the bottle down on the vanity counter facing our mirror.
The Federal Reserve announced Wednesday that it would hike interest rates by 0.75% — the boldest action since 1994.
The gun-rights group Grass Roots North Carolina criticizes U.S. Sen. Thom Tillis' "misguided approach" to a possible compromise federal gun bill.
Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT) claimed on Sunday that Democrats have enough votes to enact a new crackdown on guns before admitting that they, in fact, do not have enough votes because of the filibuster.
According to a recently uncovered ancient diary, Biblical scholars now believe that we may now know the words Moses spoke after leading the Israelites out of Egypt and fleeing Ramses with his army.
'The Department of Justice is going easy on those who use violence in furtherance of favored viewpoints'
A woman who used to live in the same housing complex as the 15-year-old charged with killing four students with a handgun and injuring several others said she called Child Protective Services (CPS) on the family years earlier to warn them about potential neglect.


Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis on Wednesday responded to comments from tech billionaire Elon Musk — who revealed he was leaning toward supporting DeSantis in the 2024 presidential race — by saying he welcomes “support from African-Americans.”
Amid rumors that Pope Francis will soon abdicate the See of Peter, the Sacred College of Cardinals has pledged to choose a woman of color as the next pope.
Next pandemic and current covid shots
More than 900 employees of mortgage company Better.com were invited to a Zoom webinar last Wednesday, where CEO Vishal Garg announced they would all be fired effective immediately.


Back to Top