Scholars Now Think '6.66' In Revelation Refers To Price Of Gas In The End Times | Beaufort County Now | This week, a panel of Bible scholars issued a joint statement clarifying that the Mark of the Beast is actually “$6.66”—the price of gas at the end of latter days.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    GENEVA     This week, a panel of Bible scholars issued a joint statement clarifying that the Mark of the Beast is actually "$6.66"-the price of gas at the end of latter days.

    "Deeper study has revealed that we were misreading this passage-it's not 666 or 616, it's $6.66 for your basic Unleaded Petroleum Gasoline!" French Bible scholar Pierre LeGault spoke for the panel of academics that had gathered at Geneva to redress and correct the historic interpretation of the mysterious number in Revelation 13. "Numerology is tough and we'll be the first to admit we botched this one-but we're here to make things right!"

    The panel answered questions, fleshing out their new interpretation. "It's felt apocalyptic for a few years now-once we figured out that we had already been enduring the final stages of divine judgment, it all clicked!" Other scholars on the panel concurred, proceeding to roll out a massive end-times prophecy chart culminating in a $6.66 gas ticker on the far right side.

    At publishing time, the scholars were scrambling to explain why they shouldn't be stoned as false prophets despite the gas ticker blasting through the $7 and $8 marks.
Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Have you heard the latest? Uncle Joe is attempting to appropriate billions of dollars to a program designed to mandate that CRT is taught across the nation in OUR public schools.
Saule Omarova, Democrat President Joe Biden’s nominee for comptroller of the currency, has withdrawn her name from consideration for the position after facing increasing opposition to nomination over allegations that she was a Marxist.
The Federal Reserve announced an increase in interest rates Wednesday afternoon, boosting the cost of borrowing money by 0.75%, the largest increase in a single meeting in nearly 30 years.
Clarence Thomas tells us what we need to be working toward
Politicians in Washington are growing increasingly nervous, as the CDC has announced they have discovered the first case of Lizardpox on American shores.
Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said on Sunday that suspending gas taxes is “certainly worth considering” amid rising energy prices.
Australia reportedly will not send officials to the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing, China, in response to the communist nation’s genocide against religious minorities.
To what extent can a selective educational institution advantage certain racial groups in admissions decisions without discriminating against other groups simultaneously?
Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen on Sunday blamed global factors for Americans’ spiraling purchasing power and declared a recession is “not at all inevitable,” despite a growing consensus the U.S. could soon find out one is already underway.

HbAD1

With the price of food skyrocketing and the value of Bitcoin plummeting, McDonald's restaurants across the world have rolled out a new value menu in which all items cost only 1 Bitcoin.
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) slammed President Joe Biden during a speech on the Senate floor Tuesday over the unfolding crisis in Ukraine. Tens of thousands of Russian soldiers have been amassing near its border in what experts warn might be a prelude to an invasion.
The North Carolina State Health Plan and the National Academy for State Health Policy Find that North Carolina's Dominant Hospital Systems Recorded Billions of Dollars in Profits After Taking Taxpayer-Funded COVID Relief
Governor Ron DeSantis (R-FL) got some unexpected praise late this week from media personality Bill Maher, who insisted that DeSantis would be better than former President Donald Trump.
Milestone Air Quality Legislation Paved Way for Significant Environmental and Clean Energy Efforts
White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki took a shot at Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) during Tuesday’s press briefing over remarks that Ocasio-Cortez made about organized retail theft incidents that have plagued several major Democrat-controlled cities in recent weeks.
The United States of America has edged closer and closer to the Leftist maxim of "Abortion on Demand" whenever it is demanded, by whomever demands it, but now that ease of operation to alleviate oneself of that nagging little problem has come to a screeching halt.

HbAD2

the perverts are sexually grooming children with these drag queen events
The Department of Justice (DOJ) apparently blocked Republican senators from questioning a U.S. attorney on an ongoing federal investigation into President Joe Biden’s son, Hunter.
North Carolina Democratic Gov. Roy Cooper signed three bills into law yesterday, June 14, including one that legalizes FDA-approved THC medications.
SpaceX employees circulated an open letter criticizing CEO Elon Musk for his “behavior in the public sphere.” Those employees now find themselves out of a job, according to a Friday report from The New York Times.
there is one of the 14 RINOs who still faces a Senate primary

HbAD3

 
Back to Top