Paul Pelosi Pleads Guilty, Sentenced To Return To Nancy Pelosi In 5 Days | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN FRANCISCO, CA     Insider trading expert and husband of the Speaker of the House Paul Pelosi has pleaded guilty to a DUI charge and has been sentenced to live with Nancy Pelosi again after 5 days in prison.

    "You recklessly put innocent lives in danger, and I have no choice but to make an example of you," said the judge at the sentencing. "In five days' time, you will fly out to Washington, D.C., and move in with your wife Nancy. May God have mercy on your soul."

    Paul Pelosi will be forced to wear an ankle monitor which will prevent him from leaving the premises. At publishing time, his legal team was appealing the sentence.