She-Hulk Insists She's 'Fine' While Literally Turning Into Enormous Green Monster | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CHILENO BEACH, MEXICO     According to sources, fan-favorite superhero lawyer She-Hulk continued to insist to her husband today that she is "fine", while literally turning into a green rage monster.

    "No really, I'm ok," said She-Hulk, as her skin changed color and veins burst out of her forehead. "It's just...never mind. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?" she continued, quadrupling in size from blind fury.

    Despite her protestations, Mr. Walters couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. "After you've been together for a while, you get to know the little signs," he said. "When my sweet Jessica turns into a massive, green tornado of violence and rips the chimney out of our home - I know something is off."

    After throwing her husband's car into the neighborhood pool, She-Hulk proceeded to smash all of the doors to their home, leaving Mr. Walter trapped inside. "This is sort of her version of the silent treatment," said Mr. Walter. "She usually pulls away enough rubble for me to get out in a few hours. Unless she calls and talks to her mom, in which case I might be here a few days. Better check how much beef jerky we have."

    At publishing time, She-Hulk continued to insist she had perfect control of her emotions and that the Nissan in the pool was just something "you wouldn't understand."
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




‘I Cannot Believe I Gave Two Legs For My Tuition’: Afghan Vet Reacts To Biden’s Student Debt Cancellation Plan Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Truitt proposes using COVID-19 relief funds to bridge N.C. principal pay


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

The Missouri Senate approved a constitutional amendment to ban non-U.S. citizens from voting and also ban ranked-choice voting.
Democrats prosecuting political opponets just like foreign dictrators do
populist / nationalist / sovereigntist right are kingmakers for new government
18 year old boy who thinks he is girl planned to shoot up elementary school in Maryland
Biden assault on democracy continues to build as he ramps up dictatorship
One would think that the former Attorney General would have known better
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
UNC board committee votes unanimously to end DEI in UNC system

HbAD1

Police in the nation’s capital are not stopping illegal aliens who are driving around without license plates, according to a new report.
Davidaon County student suspended for using correct legal term for those in country illegally
Lawmakers and privacy experts on both sides of the political spectrum are sounding the alarm on a provision in a spy powers reform bill that one senator described as one of the “most terrifying expansions of government surveillance” in history
given to illegals in Mexico before they even get to US: NGOs connected to Mayorkas
committee gets enough valid signatures to force vote on removing Oakland, CA's Soros DA
other pro-terrorist protests in Chicago shout "Death to America" in Farsi

HbAD2

Only two of the so-called “three Johns” will be competing to replace Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) as leader of the Senate GOP.
House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan (R-OH) is looking into whether GoFundMe and Eventbrite cooperated with federal law enforcement during their investigation into the financial transactions of supporters of former President Donald Trump.
Turkish diplomatic sources say he did
Popularity of government leader crashes, even among his own party members.
Wisconsin voters ban private money, nonprofits from the election process after 2020 ‘Zuckerbucks’ controversy; spotlight now on 22 states that still allow it.
6 month old baby fighting for life after mother killed; policewoman finally arrives, shoots knifeman

HbAD3

 
Back to Top