She-Hulk Insists She's 'Fine' While Literally Turning Into Enormous Green Monster | Eastern NC Now

According to sources, fan-favorite superhero lawyer She-Hulk continued to insist to her husband today that she is "fine", while literally turning into a green rage monster.

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    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CHILENO BEACH, MEXICO     According to sources, fan-favorite superhero lawyer She-Hulk continued to insist to her husband today that she is "fine", while literally turning into a green rage monster.

    "No really, I'm ok," said She-Hulk, as her skin changed color and veins burst out of her forehead. "It's just...never mind. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?" she continued, quadrupling in size from blind fury.

    Despite her protestations, Mr. Walters couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. "After you've been together for a while, you get to know the little signs," he said. "When my sweet Jessica turns into a massive, green tornado of violence and rips the chimney out of our home - I know something is off."

    After throwing her husband's car into the neighborhood pool, She-Hulk proceeded to smash all of the doors to their home, leaving Mr. Walter trapped inside. "This is sort of her version of the silent treatment," said Mr. Walter. "She usually pulls away enough rubble for me to get out in a few hours. Unless she calls and talks to her mom, in which case I might be here a few days. Better check how much beef jerky we have."

    At publishing time, She-Hulk continued to insist she had perfect control of her emotions and that the Nissan in the pool was just something "you wouldn't understand."
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