Are You A Homophobic Bigot? 8 Troubling Signs | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Being a homophobic bigot is one of the worst things you can be. It's just like being Hitler! To make sure you're not a homophobic bigot, keep an eye out for these eight troubling signs. If you show any one of these symptoms, get help immediately.

1. You didn't show up for the midnight screening of Bros in full cosplay: You wore pants and everything. Not good!
2. You don't really care for soccer: If you're not a major fan of humanity's gayest sport, that's a huge red flag.
3. You're married to a woman: You know who else married a woman? Yeah, that's right--Hitler.
4. You order black coffee at Starbucks instead of a Pumpkin Spice Latte with extra whip and caramel drizzle: Black coffee is a gateway to the far-right-alt-extremist-right.
5. You've never contracted monkeypox: Not even once? BIG yikes.
6. You've only seen Rent one time: Multiple viewings are required to keep away the bigotry.
7. The Las Vegas Raiders aren't your favorite NFL team: Come on, it's bad enough that you don't care for soccer, but now you don't like the Raiders?
8. You love gay people and treat them the same as everyone else but don't 100% support every single one of their lifestyle choices: Disagreeing is hate.

    If you or a loved one is showing any of these signs, take them to a pride parade IMMEDIATELY, before they become Hitler.