To Drown Out Justice Jackson, Clarence Thomas Resorts To Wearing Noise-Canceling Headphones | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

This post revisited, created by the Babylon Bee, was first posted on October 25, 2022, and, NOW, is moved forward to this present day due to its recent publication; where it, most importantly, enjoys a high volume of unique views ... respectfully concluding that this post is either funny, entertaining or informative ... or conditionally all three ... enjoy it again, or for the first time, should that be a refinement within your nature to do so.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     With Ketanji Brown Jackson joining a growing number of women on the United States Supreme Court, Justice Clarance Thomas has taken to wearing noise-canceling headphones to help drown out the incessant chatter.

    "What on earth do these womenfolk need to be talking about all the time?" said Thomas. "Why do you need 11,000 words to discuss whether a man using a girl's bathroom is a First Amendment right? The Constitution ain't that complicated! I can't take it anymore!"

    Thomas then turned up the volume on his favorite Megadeath album Rust in Peace and put his head down, waiting for the ladies to finish their extremely drawn-out legal arguments.

    Justices Alito, Kavanaugh, and Gorsuch have also found ways to cope with the increased noise level, often sneaking away to the bathroom to smoke a cigarette while waiting for oral arguments to finish. "I took up smoking just so I'd have an excuse to get away. This is bad for my health!" complained Kavanaugh.

    At publishing time, Ketanji Brown Jackson and Amy Coney Barrett were still in the middle of an hours-long debate on the 14th Amendment and how it related to what Cheryl next door said on Facebook while they were dropping their kids off at soccer practice. Justice Thomas was still in the corner listening to some pre-Reputation Taylor Swift.

poll#152

With Roe v Wade (originated in 1973) overturned by the US Supreme Court, thereby allowing decisions on abortion legislation completely returned to the states: Where do you find your position on such a "Life and Death" issue for the American People?

  Yes, I approve of the US Supreme Court's decision to reinstate this "medical" issue back to the states' legislative responsibility to regulate.

  No, I believe that every woman should have complete access to abortion on demand.

  This issue is far beyond my intellectual capacity to understand.

584 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#150

With respect to the leaked opinion not yet written for ratification regarding the U.S. Supreme Court's revisiting the original decision of Roe v Wade, whence now nonstop protests have erupted in neighborhoods where U.S. Supreme Court justices live, exhibiting the firm intent to intimidate these officers of the highest court in the land: What action should the federal authorities take?

  Do nothing ... Protests are a fixture of a free society.

  Enforce the law ... Federal codes exist to prohibit any intimidation through the pubic harassment of federal judges, especially Supreme Court justices.

  I have no idea, however, northern Virginia School Board Members must be shielded from protests at all costs.

549 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?