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What began as a pleasant weekend evening in the Belnap household quickly soured due to husband Lance's relational ineptitude. Trisha had grown frustrated that he did not realize she wanted him to be quiet and also talk to her and also leave her alone and also come and talk to her.
Published: Monday, November 27th, 2023 @ 10:46 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As he joined striking members of the United Auto Workers union on the picket line, President Joe Biden expressed his strong support for their efforts, insisting automakers provide all factory employees with 300 days of annual vacation just like he receives.
Published: Monday, November 27th, 2023 @ 6:01 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Amid a House impeachment inquiry and increasing questions about bribery and extortion involving Hunter Biden, the White House reminded the press that there's not any direct evidence that Hunter Biden actually exists.
Published: Saturday, November 18th, 2023 @ 7:28 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After authorizing $100 million dollars for humanitarian aid in Gaza, President Biden assured Israel and other allies that he has received a pinky promise from Hamas that they won't use the money for terrorism.
Published: Saturday, November 11th, 2023 @ 6:58 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Americans are beginning to suspect President Obama might be gay after being spotted driving about town in a new Ford Raptor while drinking a Bud Light.
Published: Saturday, November 11th, 2023 @ 9:41 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Fans of comedian Dave Chappelle reportedly got up and left one of his recent performances after he is said to have sided against Israel for targeting Hamas terrorists inside the Gaza Strip.
Published: Tuesday, November 7th, 2023 @ 1:47 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Mitch McConnell resigned from Congress without warning Thursday, signaling his departure by blinking twice.
Published: Saturday, November 4th, 2023 @ 12:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The greatest living hero of the COVID-19 pandemic has been reluctantly drawn back into battle, as the Biden administration has reportedly called retired authority on virology Dr. Anthony Fauci out of retirement for one last ride as it seeks to implement a new mask mandate.
Published: Wednesday, November 1st, 2023 @ 7:24 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a stunning move sure to be taught at universities in politics and diplomacy classes for generations to come, President Joe Biden has brokered a deal to send $100 million of U.S. taxpayer money to the Palestinian Authority in exchange for none of the hostages
Published: Tuesday, October 24th, 2023 @ 11:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Comedian and actor Jerry Seinfeld hinted that there could be a reunion or reboot of his iconic comedy, “Seinfeld,” in the future.
Published: Sunday, October 22nd, 2023 @ 12:20 pm
By: Daily Wire
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While Hawaiian families were coming to grips with tragic losses of life and property resulting from a devastating wildfire, the nation was coming to grips with the fact President Biden had taken a short break from his Lake Tahoe vacation to tell the island's victims a funny joke
Published: Sunday, October 22nd, 2023 @ 9:39 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A shocking new poll of registered Republican voters has revealed that an astonishing 71% believe former President Donald Trump is more trustworthy than Jesus Christ.
Published: Sunday, October 22nd, 2023 @ 6:36 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The White House announced today that President Joe Biden has departed for Israel to preside over the customary opening ceremonies for World War III.
Published: Friday, October 20th, 2023 @ 12:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Newly discovered letters from former President Donald Trump's past have sent shockwaves through the country, as they revealed he used to fantasize regularly about being even more heterosexual than he already is.
Published: Friday, October 13th, 2023 @ 6:00 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a swift response to the devastating wildfire spreading across the island of Maui, the Department of Justice has announced former President Donald Trump has now been indicted for the deadly blaze.
Published: Sunday, October 8th, 2023 @ 8:38 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As evidence of bribery and corruption by the Biden family continues to mount, Democrat lawmakers in the nation's capital have expressed heavy skepticism
Published: Sunday, October 8th, 2023 @ 4:59 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The United States Congress has passed a trillion-dollar stopgap bill that will allow the federal government to continue functioning until about 2 p.m. tomorrow.
Published: Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023 @ 12:34 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Federal Bureau of Investigation announced today it has arrested the Air Force One stairs and charged them with a plot to assassinate the president.
Published: Monday, October 2nd, 2023 @ 4:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a press briefing this morning, the White House praised the overwhelming success of "Bidenomics," as the average American now has twice as many jobs as they had two years ago.
Published: Sunday, October 1st, 2023 @ 5:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A lawsuit brought by former members of Lizzo's backup dance team is alleging the corpulent singer terrorized them by eating them and their entire families.
Published: Friday, September 29th, 2023 @ 11:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced the separation from his wife of 18 years Tuesday, shocking millions of Canadians who reportedly had no clue the effeminate leader had been married this whole time, least of all to a woman.
Published: Friday, September 29th, 2023 @ 4:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A strange cocaine-like substance discovered at a federal court Wednesday definitely did not belong to Hunter Biden despite it being found on his courtroom chair.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 1:15 am
By: Babylon Bee
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An unexpected period of sudden transition swept through the nation's capital today after the White House announced President Joe Biden had to be put down after yet another incident in which he bit a baby.
Published: Monday, September 25th, 2023 @ 9:29 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The infamous unsolved murder of rapper Tupac Shakur on the streets of Las Vegas, once thought to be a hit by the Southside Crips, is now believed to be the work of none other than former President Donald J. Trump, who authorities believe acted alone.
Published: Saturday, September 23rd, 2023 @ 10:19 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former President Donald Trump has announced that he will make Vivek Ramaswamy head of Tech Support in his next administration.
Published: Saturday, September 23rd, 2023 @ 3:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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What a guy! As more evidence continues to emerge regarding Biden's selling influence and favors to foreign governments for bribe money, The President has announced he will be selflessly donating the remainder of his bribe money to charity.
Published: Friday, September 22nd, 2023 @ 5:18 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With the rumor mill still churning despite the Secret Service closing its investigation, President Joe Biden blamed the presence of cocaine in the West Wing of the White House on a black man who used to live there.
Published: Monday, September 18th, 2023 @ 2:54 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After watching her grandfather gnaw on a baby on live television, four-year-old Navy Roberts was reportedly relieved that President Biden had disowned her.
Published: Sunday, September 17th, 2023 @ 7:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As New York City continues to face a growing crisis due to ongoing waves of illegal migrants flooding into the city, Mayor Eric Adams reached out to the state of Texas to ask if they still had any of those cowboys with the whips.
Published: Monday, September 11th, 2023 @ 7:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With a wedding hanging in the balance after running out of booze, Satan stepped up to miraculously turn water into Bud Light.
Published: Sunday, September 10th, 2023 @ 11:14 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The nation was rocked to its core this week after a substance later determined to be cocaine was found in the West Wing of the White House.
Published: Saturday, September 9th, 2023 @ 1:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a thrilling viral television moment, MSNBC host Rachel Maddow snorted a line of cocaine on air to prove to the world that it's a completely natural substance and no big deal at all.
Published: Tuesday, September 5th, 2023 @ 4:35 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Joe Biden's pledge during the 2020 Presidential Election to restore decency and integrity to the White House has been fulfilled, as testing revealed the cocaine found on the premises this week was truly of the highest quality.
Published: Thursday, August 31st, 2023 @ 4:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The president is missing! A source confirmed late Tuesday night that President Biden, apparently spooked by Independence Day fireworks, piddled on a rug before bolting in terror into the woods behind the White House.
Published: Wednesday, August 30th, 2023 @ 11:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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