The Top 15 Gravest Threats To Democracy | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Democracy is very fragile. Be careful with it! Stray but a little and democracy shall fail.

    Here are 15 things that put democracy itself in jeopardy every day:

1. Democracy: We can't let democracy get in the way and ruin our perfect democracy.
2. Independent journalism: Truth can only come from state and corporation-approved sources.
3. Voter ID: This is Jim Crow supersized times a billion trillion on mega-steroids. Everyone knows the freest, fairest, and most secure elections involve ZERO forms of ID.
4. The Constitution: It was written by slave owners who wore white wigs. Disgusting.
5. Questioning the results of any election Democrats won: Scary to think about.
6. Accepting the results of any election Republicans won: Even scarier to think about!
7. Squirrels: They've got to be up to something.
8. Only getting four COVID boosters: Your lack of compliance is disturbing.
9. Criticizing runaway inflation: Shame on you. It's your patriotic duty to pay more for everything.
10. Not giving all our money to Ukraine: Just how committed are you to defending democracy?
11. 74 million+ people who voted for Trump: That's right, nearly half of voters are a direct threat.
12. Red meat: Every bite brings us one step closer to the precipice of destruction.
13. People praying in front of abortion clinics: Someone needs to call the FBI before democracy collapses!
14. People talking without Mark Zuckerberg being there to censor their conversation: Already happening in hundreds of coffee shops across America.
15. Tucker Carlson - REEEEEE!

    Well, there you have it, folks! Do your part to defend democracy, and report anyone who has done anything on this list directly to the Department of Justice.