In Phenomenal Two-For-One Deal, Elon Musk Now Owns Both Twitter And AOC | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN FRANCISCO, CA     In an incredible two-for-one bargain, Elon Musk now completely owns both Twitter and Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

    "Wow, total ownership of a U.S. Representative. What a deal!" said Mr. Musk as he strolled into Twitter headquarters. "Minus half the planet suddenly hating my guts for no clear reason, this is turning out great!"

    Though not a part of the initial transaction, Ms. Ocasio-Cortez graciously offered for Elon Musk to publicly assume ownership of her for a mere eight additional dollars. "Really, I was touched by her kindness to make the ownership agreement so public," said Mr. Musk. "Most people get cold feet and end up reneging on the deal, then try to delete the evidence. But not AOC, she just kept making one pronouncement after another to show the entire world that I now own her. I really do appreciate how easy she made it, since the Twitter thing has been a little crazier than I hoped."

    While continuing to publicly display receipts of her new ownership, Ms. Ocasio-Cortez has made a few bizarre statements to the contrary. "I'm not owned! I'm not owned!!!" she shouted repeatedly in a video posted for followers. "I will explain to my fifty million followers how Elon Musk is totally violating my right to free speech, just as soon as I can figure out how to get my head out of this dog door!"

    At publishing time, Ms. Ocasio-Cortez had reportedly been spotted screaming at an Apple store clerk that charging money for an iPhone violated her right to free speech.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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