Journalists Rush To Scene Of Shooting To Determine Whether It's Politically Useful | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    LOS ANGELES, CA     Several news crews raced to the scene of a reported shooting this morning to determine whether details of the shooting might prove politically useful or not.

    "I'm Dana Stormcloud with ABC 7 News, and I'm here at the scene of a horrific mass shooting that took place right on this street corner," said one reporter. "Wait--I'm getting reports that the shooter was an illegal immigrant. Ok, never mind! Pack it up, people! Nothing to see here!"

    News crews quickly left the scene of the crime, only to slam their brakes and rush back to the scene after reports that the illegal immigrant was a Trump supporter.

    "Many in the community are wondering whether Donald Trump's inflammatory rhetoric could have led to this unthinkable slaughter," said Dake Thimblesatch, a local reporter for CBS. "Oh wait-- I'm just now hearing that the shooter was transgender. Never mind then! False alarm, everybody!"

    Sources say news organizations are trying to do a better job of getting details of terrible crimes before they send out news crews in order to avoid wasting time on crimes that don't serve their narrative.

    At publishing time, news crews rushed back to the scene once again after new details revealed the illegal immigrant, Trump-supporting, trans shooter was also a climate change denier.

poll#125

Since only about 20% of the News Media has any shred of Journalistic Integrity remaining: How does our Constitutional Republic continue without a "Free Press"?

  Demand real information, using real sources, backed up by facts.

  Promote real journalist entities only, and admonish those that prostitute their profession.

  We Democratic Socialists are doing just fine, thank-you, by promoting lies while having very little real knowledge about so much.

260 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#166

With the Midterm Elections less than one week away: What do you consider the top issues that you will be voting on to be corrected by your better representation?

  Education

  Crime

  Big Government getting Bigger

  Biden /Democrat controlled Spike in Energy Cost

  Inflation created by Legislation of Majority in Power

  Gender Reassignment

  Corrupted Bureaucratic /Service (DOJ, FBI, etc.) Institutions

  Abortion

  Discredited Legacy Media

  Ending the Corruption of Dishonest Politicians

  Corruptive Influence of Social Media

  Wide Open Southern Border

439 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?