Man Hits Fitness Goal Of Only Gaining 9 Pounds Over Thanksgiving Weekend | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ANNAPOLIS, MD     A local man is celebrating after his bathroom scale confirmed he had met his ambitious fitness goal of gaining only 9 pounds over the Thanksgiving weekend.

    "Yessss!" exclaimed the man as he adjusted the scale with one hand and demolished a leftover turkey leg with the other. "Less than 10 pounds of Thanksgiving weight gain! NEW RECORD, BABY! WOOOOO!"

    The man then did a celebratory jump in the air before immediately clutching his sides, as they were extremely cramped from the bowl of stuffing and sweet potato pie he had just consumed.

    Sources say that although the man ate over 182 pounds of Thanksgiving cuisine over the last several days, his stringent exercise plan and hard work resulted in an astonishingly small 9 pounds of additional body fat.

    The man confirmed his next goal is to lose 5 of those pounds before gaining another 15 pounds at Christmas.