Excerpts from the Democrat-to-English dictionary: updated for 2023 | Eastern North Carolina Now

Authored by Eric Utter via AmericanThinker.com

Ableism: the idea that ability, competence, achievement, and merit are somehow better than their opposites. A disgusting remnant of a White, patriarchal society that must be eviscerated with all due haste.

Bigotry: opposition to any belief or opinion held by a “progressive.”

Conservatism: an existential threat to our democracy, practiced by bad people. Must not be tolerated.

Diversity: the lifeblood of our democracy, enriching all of us.

Dr. Fauci: a God-like figure who actually exists, and selflessly serves humanity in the blessed name of “science.” Hallowed be His name and peace be upon Him forever and ever. Amen.

Extremist: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.

Fairness: when progressive ideas and/or candidates carry the day. (Antonym, unfairness: when conservative ideas and/or candidates carry the day.)

Far-right: this term is rightfully applied to any individuals or groups who oppose Democratic/woke policies and talking points.

Fascist: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.

God: a mythical figure, created by conservatives to impose their arbitrary version of morality on sexual minorities and non-conformists.

Heterosexual: a boring, old, unhip, and often intolerant group of individuals that cling to outmoded ideas of sexual relationships and complementarity.

Illegal aliens (more properly called “undocumented immigrant”): downtrodden and oppressed, these people must be allowed free access into our country and the freedom to go wherever they like, in any quantity, without restraint. They bring much needed diversity and skill sets to our land.

Invasive species: a dire threat to our land, whose spread must be stopped at all costs. These insidious invaders often overwhelm and supplant indigenous species.

Justice: when Democrats prevail. (Antonym, injustice: when conservatives prevail.)

LGBTQIA+: a diverse and loving community of tolerant individuals who have been the victims of bigotry and injustice in this country due to systemic homophobia and misogyny.

Man: though there is no currently agreed on definition for this amorphous term, all can agree that testosterone-fueled toxic masculinity — and the patriarchy — are very bad things indeed. 

Mentally-challenged individual: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.

Misinformation: any report, data, or information, regardless of veracity and legitimacy, that does not confirm/affirm Democrats’ talking points and advance their agenda.

Pride!: what everyone who isn’t heterosexual should have… and should shove in heterosexuals faces at every opportunity.

Queer: another term for homosexual. Synonymous with Pride!.

Riot: a mostly peaceful demonstration by the oppressed against their oppressors. (As opposed to an “insurrection,” which is when conservatives and patriots question their rightful rulers.)

Terrorist: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.

Threat to our democracy: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.

Tolerance: the highest virtue, one that affords respect to all of us, regardless of our differences.

Uniparty: used to describe the bipartisanship and unity to which we all aspire. Achieved when Republicans cave to our demands. (Which, fortunately, is nearly always.)

Woman: there is no currently agreed on definition for this amorphous term.

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What is sad is that these definitions were satire not long ago...