Oppressed Iranian Women Finally Feeling There's Hope Thanks To All-Female M&Ms | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    TEHRAN, IRAN     An oppressed Iranian woman who did not dare give journalists her name for fear of deadly repercussions said she finally feels like there's hope thanks to an American mega-corporation unveiling a new package of all-female M&Ms.

    "I didn't know candy had genders, but I now feel empowered as a woman knowing Americans can buy candy that has only browns, purples, and greens," said the anonymous woman while nursing cuts and bruises she received because she had looked at a man. "With this all-female chocolate candy, it's only a matter of time before the Iranian regime stops oppressing, beating, raping, and publicly hanging women!"

    The woman tearfully recounted how she was so overjoyed that she risked her life by sneaking to her friend's house to share how girl M&Ms were flipping the status quo in America and that the M&M characters wore cute, empowering shoes and makeup, only to find that her friend's entire family had been arrested, tortured, and killed.

    At publishing time, all-female M&Ms had surpassed expectations of giving little girls diabetes, and the oppressed Iranian woman had been imprisoned.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Doctors Finally Admit Best Treatment For Flu Just 'The Price Is Right' And Crackers Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Military To End Vax Mandate Now That All The Conservatives Have Been Weeded Out


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Biden wants to push this in public schools and Gov. deSantis says NO
this at the time that pro-Hamas radicals are rioting around the country
populist / nationalist anti-immigration AfD most popular party among young voters, CDU second

HbAD1

Barr had previously said he would jump off a bridge before supporting Trump
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
Decision is a win for election integrity. NC should do the same.
Biden regime intends to force public school compliance as well as colleges

HbAD2

prosecutors appeal acquittal of member of parliament in lower court for posting Bible verse
Biden abuses power to turn statute on its head; womens groups to sue
The Missouri Senate approved a constitutional amendment to ban non-U.S. citizens from voting and also ban ranked-choice voting.
Democrats prosecuting political opponets just like foreign dictrators do
populist / nationalist / sovereigntist right are kingmakers for new government
18 year old boy who thinks he is girl planned to shoot up elementary school in Maryland
Biden assault on democracy continues to build as he ramps up dictatorship
One would think that the former Attorney General would have known better
UNC board committee votes unanimously to end DEI in UNC system

HbAD3

 
Back to Top