Second-Grader Suspended For Misgendering An M&M | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ST PAUL, MN     Local second grader Tim Bumbly has been suspended from Rosa Parks 1619 Obama Elementary for repeatedly misgendering one of the M&M's candies he received in his lunch.

    "After multiple warnings, Timmy continued to refer to his green and purple M&M's as 'they' and 'them', when Mars, Inc. has already confirmed they are strong, independent women," said Tim's teacher Franz Zenber (she/her). "For the safety of our student body, we had to remove him from the school as soon as possible. Misgendering kills."

    The school board and superintendent backed the decision, confirming the student will be suspended for a period of two weeks and will be allowed to return to classes pending a lengthy round of inclusivity training and testing.

    Several parents, however, are outraged by the school's decision. "We understand Timmy's offense was despicable. Misgendering kills, after all. But we feel this punishment is too severe," said one parent in the pick-up line outside the school. The parent has since been reported to the DOJ.

    At publishing time, Timmy was allowed to return to school early on good behavior after joining the GSA club in his school.