15 Reasons Completely Unrelated To The Vaccine People Are Dying Suddenly | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Have you been wondering why so many people are suddenly collapsing? Well, it's definitely not in any way related to that one thing, that's for sure! The world's top experts have been hard at work studying what could cause this uptick in deaths.

    Here's the most up-to-date list of everything that's causing everyone to suddenly die:

  1. Climate change: Starting with the most obvious here.
  2. Standing up too quickly: You have to stand up slower!
  3. Standing up too slowly: You have to stand up faster!
  4. Excitement from watching She-Hulk: Try pausing the show and slowly breathing into a paper bag to calm back down.
  5. Crushing grief about how tough things have been for Harry and Meghan lately: They've just been through so much. All they want is some privacy!
  6. Not enough bugs in your diet: You must eat ze bugs!
  7. Saying "love you" out of habit at the end of a phone call with your coworker: A moment of silence for these poor souls.
  8. Being misgendered: Millions die this way every day.
  9. Trying to hold it for the entire duration of Avatar 2: Bladder explosion has been linked to heart explosion.
  10. You're a Victorian-era damsel and a mouse scurries out in front of you: You're going to want to keep a fainting couch close by to cushion your fall.
  11. Heartbreak after hearing of Dr. Fauci's retirement: You can in fact die of a broken heart.
  12. Accidentally touching the Ark of the Covenant: Experts say this accounts for over half of myocarditis deaths.
  13. Having to use the gas station bathroom: Instant fatality!
  14. Someone dropped your favorite ring into the fires of Mount Doom: Nooooooooooo!
  15. Getting an experimental, untested substance injected into your body multiple times: Nah... couldn't be that.

    Well, there you have it, everyone. Watch out for these, and stay safe out there!
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Comments

( January 25th, 2023 @ 2:56 pm )
 
I hesitate to poke fun at the lemmings who foloow the establishment's narrative right over the cliff without even considering it might be wrong. Calling those who have concerns about experimental vaccines based on a brand new technology never used before and not thoroughly tested are a great deal different than the anti-vaxxers who refuse to take any vaccines for any illness. Indeed it was mentioned on the radio today about a town in California that was the opposite, the most heavily vassed in the state by percentage on Covid, yet with a long history of anti-vax positions against other illnesses.

The questions swirling around the Covid vax centers on those using mRNA technology. These are the ones with the severe side effects, although for women of a certain age, the traditional vax Johnson and Johnson can have some milder side efferts. The inventer of the mRNA technology even warned about putting that in use so quickly without adequate testing. It is interesting that Taiwan, which counts only deaths FROM Covid in its stats, not deaths WITH Covid, had slightly more people who died from the vaccine than died from Covid.

As for myself, I get the flu shot every years and am up to date on traditional vaccines, and I drove an hour each way to get the Johnson and Johnson Covid vax, but I would not ever take one of the mRNA Covid vaxxs. You lemmings can feel free to march off the cliff with that one.
Big Bob said:
( January 25th, 2023 @ 9:15 am )
 
I hesitate to poke the sanity of the anti vax crowd but you are simply wrong. The notion that vaccines are bad for you is ridiculous. Are they perfect? No. Are there side effects? Yes. Can you die from getting vaccinated? In rare cases probably? However when you compare the effects of the vaccine to the disease, there is no comparison. The first year of the pandemic scared everybody. But we responded and life goes on.
( January 23rd, 2023 @ 4:12 pm )
 
I think it's all b** 2 years after the the people are getting this covid shot and the booster and all of a sudden these people are dying of heart failure heart stopping death why why I ask why would you take a vaccine vaccine from a country that started the virus why in the hell would you even trust them I told me and my boys not to ever take the vaccine you don't know what they're putting in that vaccine that might hinder your health in 2 3 5 years down the road that's what I'm guessing mark my words this is what I'm thinking



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