Biden Says He’ll Shoot Down Chinese Spy Balloon As Soon As He’s Done Letting It Spy | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     Americans are up in arms after a Chinese high-altitude spy balloon was seen hovering over sensitive nuclear sites in Montana. Biden was quick to quell fears, vowing to shoot down the hostile balloon as soon as he's done letting it spy.

    "Listen folks, that balloon came a long way to do a little spyin'," said Biden in a meeting with military leaders. "Would be a shame to shoot the poor thing down before it even gets a chance to take some pictures! I remember when me and the boys used to spy on Suzie Anne McGillicutty through her bedroom window after a long day of protesting the civil rights movement. It's all in good fun, folks!"

    According to anonymous sources, several Pentagon officials asked how soon they would be able to knock the balloon out of the sky, insisting it was a matter of national security.

    "Come on, man! I'll let you shoot it down. Just let me check to make sure the Chinese have what they need and that the million-dollar check for Hunter's painting came through from my buddy Xi. Then, have at it, boys!"

    At publishing time, Eric Swalwell had been seen approaching the spy balloon and asking for its number.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Will GOP legislators cave to the left on Obamacare Medicaid expansion? Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Last Straw: Mom Demands Kids Clean Their Rooms Or So Help Her She Will Do It


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Be careful what you wish for, you may get it
Former President Donald Trump suggested this week that if he becomes president again, he might allow Prince Harry to be deported.
It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Vice President Kamala Harris will visit a Minnesota Planned Parenthood clinic, reportedly the first time a president or vice president has visited an abortion facility.
An eight-mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway near Asheville has been temporarily closed due to a string of “human and bear interactions,” the National Parks Service announced.
University of Wisconsin tried to punish conservatives for the fact that liberals regularly commit crimes to silence opposition
most voters think EU officials not doing a good job on illegal immigration
Come from behind by GOP candidate is a blueprint to 2024

HbAD1

Biden spending and energy policies to blame
Tuberculosis carried by illegal invaders has already infected Texas cattle
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said this week that the only campaign promise President Joe Biden has delivered on as president is the complete dismantling of the U.S. southern border.
Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
President Joe Biden’s brother told the Internal Revenue Service that Hunter Biden told him he was in business with a “protege of President Xi,” referring to the leader of China, according to notes by an IRS investigator that were divulged during a congressional interview of Jim Biden.
Gov. Roy Cooper seeks a temporary restraining order to block a law changing the composition of the State Board of Elections.
X owner Elon Musk mocked a news segment from ABC News this week that promoted President Joe Biden’s talking points about the Democrat-led Senate’s failed border bill, which critics and many experts have said would make the situation on the border worse.
That’s the question Marguerite Roza of Georgetown University’s Edunomics Lab sought to answer in a recent webinar on the topic.
The University of Florida has fired all of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) employees and shut down its DEI office.

HbAD2

Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.
Glenn Beck: 'When the United States government can come after individuals, that's when you know our republic is crumbling.'
Rep. Mark Green (R-TN) reportedly blasted Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas for “stonewalling” details about the illegal immigrant accused of murdering Laken Riley, a 22-year-old Georgia college student.
Financial asset manager BlackRock said in its annual report that environmental, social, and governance policies could hurt its bottom line after Republican state officials cut ties with the company over its ties to China and climate activism.
Daily Wire host Matt Walsh passed away Monday aboard Southwest Airlines Flight WN2208 after the passenger in front of him reclined her seat and crushed him to death, officials announced.
“The Biden administration's plan in the Middle East is to hand over power to the Palestinian Authority, which literally pays the families of terrorists who murder Jews.”
Washington, D.C. — Congressman Greg Murphy, M.D. issued the following statement on the latest continuing resolution:
The official cause of death for Rick Harrison’s son Adam has been revealed by the coroner’s office.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top