7 More Incredible But True Stories About George Santos | Eastern NC Now

Just when you think you have heard the most insane story possible about Congressman George Santos, the mad lad (lady?) tops himself again! Here we have collected seven more totally preposterous, but one-hundred-percent true stories about George Santos:

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Just when you think you have heard the most insane story possible about Congressman George Santos, the mad lad (lady?) tops himself again! Here we have collected seven more totally preposterous, but one-hundred-percent true stories about George Santos:

  1. Carried a .395 batting average during a two-year stint with the Cubs - if it weren't for injury, Santos would likely be a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer.
  2. Was married at one point to both Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman - simultaneously, no less!
  3. Once filled in for Freddie Mercury during a Queen concert in Germany - Santos was so good, the band actually tried to replace Freddie.
  4. In a different universe, he's Spiderman - and also sometimes in this universe.
  5. Was the Dalai Lama for a brief period after college - he reportedly gave up his title after finding Nirvana too boring.
  6. His best friend is a giant blue ox named "Babe" - sometimes, if you listen closely, you can still hear the two traipsing through the forests of Minnesota.
  7. Was actually driving the car when Princess Diana died - the plot thickens!

    Incredible! Let us know if you've heard of any others. We can't wait to see what George does next!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Hell Finally Gets Chick-Fil-A, But It Will Only Serve Cauliflower Sandwiches Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Super Bowl Flyover Featuring All Female Pilots Running 20 Minutes Late


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

If you are covering Roy Cooper in Greensboro today, please consider the following statement from the Republican National Committee:
Obama and Biden judges abuse power for political reasons to try to stop Haitian deportations

HbAD1

teachers union rally held on major socialist / communist May Day holiday
Democrats foment climate of violence against Trump and GOP
Cheryl Hines. Dennis Quaid. Nicki Minaj. All became associated with the Trump administration. What happened next?
A federal grand jury in North Carolina has indicted former FBI Director James Comey on two charges related to making threats against President Donald Trump.
Their goal was simple: to put a Planned Parenthood in every mailbox in America.
Treasury officials allege these groups pose as humanitarian entities while covertly siphoning donations to Hamas.
President Donald Trump has publicly floated regime change and other aggressive actions toward Cuba.

HbAD2

With a new roadside plaque unveiled in Ellerbe on April 23, legendary wrestler and local resident André René Roussimoff is finally getting the formal recognition fans believe he deserves.
Following a string of attacks, critics are calling for denaturalizations. It's not that simple.
Understanding how parties work is important for making informed decisions regarding elected officials.
The solution is not to legalize the problem; it is to enforce the law consistently and deter future illegal immigration.
The teachers union is pushing to cancel school on May 1 as Chicago public schools continue to report dismal student proficiency rates.

HbAD3

Mission accomplished on sending inspiration from the dark side of the moon.
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
Beaufort County residents deserve lower taxes and should demand them from government.
"Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain" was their preference but things are beginning to come to light.
It has been several days since a deranged left-wing lunatic attempted to assassinate President Trump and other members of his administration and yet Roy Cooper is STILL silent out of fear of alienating his base, who is perfectly okay with violence.

HbAD4

 
 
Back to Top