Meteorologists Struggling To Report The Weather As All The Weather Balloons Have Been Shot Down | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     Meteorologists across North America have been seen on live television struggling to report the weather now that all of the weather balloons have been shot down.

    Their prediction accuracy has plummeted from 12% to 7%.

    "Looks like we may be looking at something akin to a forecast approaching what some could call a slight change in what we assume to be a variance in patterns of today's or maybe tomorrow's weather." said meteorologist Kevin Gauge of News Team 5 for WLZN. "Or not."

    The nation's weatherpersons have experienced extreme on-air discomfort after losing the ability to make up stuff about the weather now that they have no convoluted and ever-changing weather data to misinterpret.

    "I mean, we were always guessing," said Gauge to reporters while looking around at the sky, perplexed. "But before, we spent all day looking at weather balloon data and then making stuff up. Now we have to look directly into the sky and then make stuff up. That's hard."

    At publishing time, meteorologists had excitedly spread the word that a new weather balloon was seen in the sky, but it turned out to be the moon.