Mayorkas Assures That Droid Army Deploying Onto Planet Is Not An Invasion | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     At a joint press conference with Trade Federation representatives, Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas assured the nation that wave after wave of transport ships descending to the surface of the planet carrying heavily-armed battle droids is "definitely not an invasion."

    "There's no reason for anyone to be concerned about the landing craft that are disgorging hover tanks that are then executing pincer movements around American cities," said Mayorkas. "The droids in those tanks are merely seeking jobs, health care, and a better life for their families."

    When asked about reports of destroyer droids rolling through American cities and shooting everything that moves, Trade Federation Viceroy Nute Gunray responded indignantly, "The term 'destroyer droid' is an oppressive relic of white supremacy. We prefer the term 'cuddle droid,' and they have every right to roll wherever they want in search of jobs and health care. This talk about shooting things is just a distraction from the real enemy, Kyle Rittenhouse."

    Mayorkas concluded by saying, "An invasion would be something unwelcome. This is completely different. Any community should be happy to welcome these newcomers, who will help to mow our lawns and wash our cars and only occasionally blow stuff up."

    Asked for comment, Governor Sio Bibble said, "This is ridiculous. Of course, it's an invasion. I mean, there was a communications disruption, which can mean only one thing: invasion!"

    Experts, however, disputed his comments, pointing out that communications disruptions can be caused by a variety of things, from spotty cell phone service to driving under an overpass, but yes, also, sometimes an invasion.

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Considering the current overwhelming obstacles inflicting stress upon America's working class: rampant inflation; energy insecurity; supply chain turmoil; banking failures; foreign policy disasters; government corruption; (DEI) Diversity Equity Inclusion narrative, with WOKE extremes practiced; Climate Change ideology; intractable crime wave in Leftist cities; wide open border by executive design; a permanently discredited Legacy Media; failed or failing education industry, just to name a few of the many: Who should Americans blame?

  Donald J. Trump

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  Leftist controlled Congress for the last 4 years.

  Bloated, incompetent bureaucracy weaponized and poorly managed

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