White 12 Passenger Van Either Belongs To Kidnapper Or Nice Catholic Family | Eastern NC Now

Authorities have been alerted as to the presence of a suspicious white van at the corner of State St. and Huron. Local sources confirmed that this 12-passenger white Ford Econoline belongs to either a dangerous kidnapper or a nice Catholic family.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CHICAGO, IL     Authorities have been alerted as to the presence of a suspicious white van at the corner of State St. and Huron. Local sources confirmed that this 12-passenger white Ford Econoline belongs to either a dangerous kidnapper or a nice Catholic family.

    "We've been following this van since it picked up a large group of kids outside St. Agnes of Bohemia School," said FBI field agent Dirk Whitley to reporters. "We're not sure if this guy is a run-of-the-mill kidnapper or a Catholic with a crap-ton of kids. Either way, he's probably extremely dangerous."

    The van was confirmed to belong to a Catholic family after the van pulled up to St. Peter's Church and dropped off Peter, Paul, Luke, Thomas, Matthew, Joan, Rachel, Rebecca, Diane, Stephen, Mark, and Benedict.

    At publishing time, the DOJ had mobilized FBI agents to monitor the dangerous extremists.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Every Lutheran Splits Into Own Individual Synod Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics YouTuber Stuck In Endless Loop Of Reacting To His Own Reaction Videos


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Beaufort County residents deserve lower taxes and should demand them from government.
Cheryl Hines. Dennis Quaid. Nicki Minaj. All became associated with the Trump administration. What happened next?
"Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain" was their preference but things are beginning to come to light.
Understanding how parties work is important for making informed decisions regarding elected officials.
Two years ago, new media brought President Trump back to the White House. What happened?

HbAD1

Victims’ advocates, prosecutors, law enforcement officials, and families impacted by violent crime gathered Tuesday at the North Carolina State Archives building in Raleigh to recognize National Crime Victims’ Rights Week and honor those affected by crime across North Carolina.
The POLITICO poll found that almost half of respondents think Hollywood players should "be less vocal with their political beliefs."
Provincial governments in Alberta and Saskatchewan refuse to cooperate with federal gov.t

HbAD2

"They help cultivate a radical hate America agenda, and we can't afford that same toxic ideology in America's War Department.”
The attack comes amid a heightened concern over terror attacks after President Donald Trump launched "Operation Epic Fury" in Iran.
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic

HbAD3

Spanberger signed HB167, the law that eliminated the tax exemption for various confederacy-linked groups
as RINO incumbents Cornyn in Texas and Cassidy in Louisiana trail in the polls

HbAD4

 
 
Back to Top