Pentagon Struggling To Explain All 437 Earth Genders To Aliens

Latest Polls (view all)

Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.86% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.14% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

Click Here to Vote
88 Vote(s)

View all Polls

Pentagon Struggling To Explain All 437 Earth Genders To Aliens

Published: Monday, July 17th, 2023 @ 7:55 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     Interstellar peace talks broke down Wednesday after Pentagon officials were unable to adequately explain the intricacies of all 437 Earth genders to aliens from outer space.

    "Okay, for the last time," said Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin during the third hour of talks with extraterrestrials. "Demigender are people who identify partially with one gender at the same time as another. This is totally different from Bigender, which is when a person identifies as two genders and can switch between them. Do you understand now?"

    "This isn't at all confusing."

    The aliens spoke via telepathy, communicating easily without the hindrance of language barriers, yet were still unable to understand why their human counterparts kept derailing talks about joining an alliance of free planets to argue that sex and gender are two different things - or even that a developmental condition such as autism can be a gender.

    "Everything is gender," SecDef Austin explained. "Even this table is gender."

    President Biden was present at the meeting but was unable to communicate due to a failure by alien lifeforms to create a telepathic link to his brain.

    [Is this man even alive?] asked Xylor Sieth IV. [Is corpse a gender?]

    "It can be," SecDef Austin answered. "You're catching on!"

    Pentagon spokesperson Jean Tangerine told reporters, "Honestly, this is a big part of why the government has kept alien life a secret for so long. They're super bigoted and not ready for the public."

    At publishing time, Xylor Sieth IV had asked to speak to Tucker Carlson instead.

Go Back