Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.
PALM BEACH, FL As he prepared to face indictment on federal charges related to possession of classified documents, former President Donald Trump revealed his disappointment that he was only a few boxes of top secret documents away from building a really cool fort.
Publisher's Note: This series of posts on this one issue - The Unprecedented FBI Raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago Estate - can all be found here on ENC NOW.
"I worked so hard on this awesome fort only to have it stolen by the Deep State,"
Trump said to a large crowd at a campaign rally over the weekend. "As I was leaving the White House - after winning BIGLY and having the election stolen from me, by the way - I saw all the boxes of papers and thought I could build a fort. A big, beautiful fort. A fort more amazing than anything before it. Sadly, that opportunity, like the 2020 election, was stolen from me. It's a total disgrace!"
Sources close to Trump have disclosed his longstanding plan to build such a fort at his home at Mar-A-Lago, citing his history as a real estate mogul and builder. "He's a developer at heart,"
said one member of the Trump team. "A border wall, an impressive resume of defeating impeachments and indictments, a fort made from document boxes...he always building something."
Trump remains undeterred by this latest indictment scandal. "We're going to finish the job we started,"
he continued as he spoke to the crowd. "We're going back to the White House, and we're going to finish building the document box fort - and it will be so cool and have different rooms and there will be no girls allowed!"
At publishing time, the Trump campaign had reportedly sent out fundraising emails asking for supporters to send their own document boxes for the completion of the fort.