Biden Put Down After Biting Another Baby | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     An unexpected period of sudden transition swept through the nation's capital today after the White House announced President Joe Biden had to be put down after yet another incident in which he bit a baby. Vice President Kamala Harris will now ascend to the presidency.

    "He had just become too dangerous and unpredictable," said Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is black and also gay. "It's a sad day, but we made sure he got to enjoy his favorite things before the end came. Playing ball in the backyard, having his tummy scratched...everything he loved."

    The difficult decision came after Biden had reportedly bitten yet another infant, the latest in a long history of such incidents. "This falls right in line with the laws regarding dangerous animal bites," said another source within the administration. "If there are repeated biting incidents, putting the animal down is required. Our hands were tied, but at least we could put the president and the country out of their collective misery."

    Though the bitings had long been blamed on the White House dog, Commander, other people began to find it suspicious that the teeth marks on the victims were a perfect match for the president's dentures. "We simply couldn't keep saying the dog did it," the source continued. "There's only one animal in this place who bites children to steal their ice cream, and it's not Commander."

    At publishing time, President Kamala Harris announced plans to bring in a new White House dog and name it "Joe" to make everyone feel like Biden was still around.

poll#206

In stripping away the heavy varnish of fakery by the heavy handed Corrupt Corporate Media; in taking a true view of what is real, right now with clear open eyes: How do you see this 46th President of these States United; what is your visceral first impression of Joe Biden after nearly 3 years on the job?

  A good man, wise and kind

  The Socialist President

  A president in praise of his son

  The Non Patriot President

  A successful president

  The Idiot President

  A knowledgeable president

  A corrupt president

  A perfect leader of the Democratic Socialist party

  The man is married to a "Doctor"

612 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?