Shuttered Adult Bookstores Cite Fierce Competition From School Libraries | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SACRAMENTO, CA     Honest, hard-working small business owners across the country have shuttered their adult bookstores, citing the inability to compete with the vast network of school libraries offering an array of X-rated adult material to an entire generation of kids.

    "There's just no keeping up with public school libraries," said Vinnie Plunk, owner of the now-defunct Crazy Vinnie's Adult Books And Thoughtful Gifts. "Our old die-hard creeps are dying off and all the young, vibrant creeps are working for the American Library Association and the American Federation of Teachers now. It's sad."

    Plunk shook his head as he boarded up his store, expressing how difficult it was to compete with government institutions that used tax dollars to make smut freely available to all.

    Another owner had tried changing his store's name from Kinky's Adult Books to Thomas Jefferson Junior High School Library's Adult Books And Family-Friendly Naked Dancing Drag Queen Emporium, but according to bankruptcy filings, the effort proved too little, too late.

    At publishing time, school libraries had all introduced students to their new, dimly-lit novelty sex toy rooms behind beaded curtains.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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