New Mortal Kombat Game Reveals All Fatalities Are Brought On By Climate Change | Eastern North Carolina Now

NeartherRealm Studios announced that their newest installment in the popular Mortal Kombat franchise, aptly titled Mortal Kombat 1, will reveal that all fatalities are the product of man-made climate change.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CHICAGO     NeartherRealm Studios announced that their newest installment in the popular Mortal Kombat franchise, aptly titled Mortal Kombat 1, will reveal that all fatalities are the product of man-made climate change.

    The climate crisis - as fire god Liu Kang calls it - is inevitable, and the only thing humans can do to end the gradual fluctuation of temperature in Earthrealm is to kill each other.

    "Fatalities are an act of mercy," game director Ed Boon told video game magazine Press The Button Monthly. "No one should have to live in a world in which climate change is a daily reality. That's why the Mortal Kombat tournament was first created by the Elder Gods: to reduce the carbon footprint of humans by murdering them."

    But in Mortal Kombat 1, the timeline has been reset - again - so that Liu Kang can get a jumpstart on human killing with climate activist Greta Thunberg. Unlike other fighters, Thunberg will destroy her enemies with scolding, shaming, and her classic "How-Dare-Youken" move.

    In contrast to previous titles, Mortal Kombat 1 is rated "E for Everyone" because even if you rip someone's spinal cord out of their body, you didn't really kill them - the climate did.

    Mortal Kombat 1 is scheduled for release on September 19th. As a pre-order bonus, all characters will preach sermons about climate change during unskippable cutscenes that will periodically interrupt the gameplay.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Journalists Anxiously Wait For Email From Biden Administration With Today's Instructions Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Jets File Restraining Order Against Colin Kaepernick


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Stopping its attempt to rewrite Title IX to force Texas schools to adopt radical “transgender” policies
Republican congressman Byron Donalds said it would be a “great honor” if former President Donald Trump were to ask him to be his running-mate for 2024, saying the ultimate goal is for Trump to win and he’ll do whatever he’s asked to help him do that.
weaponized political FBI needs major reform or replacement
2019, 40 Democrats signed a letter saying they condemned the Nazi Azov Battalion in Ukraine
Voters in Arizona will have the opportunity to enact broad border security measures in November as the state faces a flood of illegal immigration after the Republican-led state legislature passed a resolution that will put the measures on the general election ballot.
51 ex-spies lies to the American people threw the 2020 election
The former White House physician for Presidents Barack Obama and Donald Trump says that a new report this week about how President Joe Biden is struggling to function behind closed doors represents a serious threat to the U.S.

HbAD1

The Tikva Forum for Families of Hostages, an Israeli group created to represent the families of those taken during Hamas’ October 7 terrorist attack, urged President Joe Biden to stop interfering with Israel’s campaign to destroy the terrorist group.
how the Democrats set up the January 6 riot at the Capitol
this is why the left is now attacking Supreme Court justices
Addiction is not just a physical issue, it is also deeply spiritual
told to let all single males just walk in excpet for 6 countries
After saying the six-foot social distancing guideline during the COVID-19 pandemic “sort of just appeared,” Dr. Anthony Fauci on Monday testified that his statement had been “distorted” and that it “actually” came from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Accepting the unacceptable makes the unacceptable acceptable
combined traditional conservatives and populist conservatives win majority for first time

HbAD2

The state Supreme Court has agreed to hear one of two pending cases involving North Carolina bar owners challenging Gov. Roy Cooper's COVID-related shutdowns in 2020.
The Biden administration canceled over 350,000 asylum cases, allowing migrants to stay in the United States indefinitely in a move that experts called “mass amnesty.”
Former White House medical advisor Anthony Fauci changed his view of COVID vaccines from 2021 to 2024, clips show.
UK votes for parliament on July 4th, and EU voting for its parliament now
globalist PM Tusk coddles illegal aliens as soldier loses life defending border

HbAD3

 
Back to Top