Should You Get A Tradwife? Pros And Cons | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Many on social media these days are talking about the trend of "Tradwives", a totally new concept where women marry, have kids, take care of those kids, love their husbands, and engage in traditional home-making tasks.

    But is a tradwife right for you? Before you head on over to the wife store, be sure to consider these pros and cons:

    Pro: When you marry her, she'll get a few chickens

    Con: Within a year, you'll have way more than a few chickens

    Pro: She has long, beautiful hair

    Con: You have to clean the shower drains

    Pro: Homemade sourdough bread every single day

    Con: You now weigh 300 pounds

    Pro: She homeschools, so your kids are always around you

    Con: She homeschools, so your kids are ALWAYS around you

    Pro: Cans her own vegetables

    Con: Botulism

    Pro: She's always barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen

    Con: There's really no con to that, now that we think about it

    Pro: She loves babies and farm animals

    Con: Poop everywhere

    Pro: She raises the kids herself and now they're all super intelligent and interesting people

    Con: You seem kind of dull in comparison

    Pro: Makes her own butter

    Con: It takes FOREVER

    Pro: Saves money with DIY projects

    Con: You're actually the one doing them all

    Pro: She believes in classical education and teaches your kids Latin

    Con: Oh no! They just summoned a demon!

    Pro: She's incredibly good with money

    Con: All your money is in a friggin' envelope

    Weigh each pro and con carefully, then go out and pick a wife - hurry, while supplies last!