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they want sugary drinks and candy on taxpayers' dime
Published: Friday, March 13th, 2026 @ 4:28 pm
By: John Steed
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Tragedy struck the Christofferson household this weekend when wife Hailey ignorantly sipped water that was neither filtered, remineralized, nor served in her 640 oz Stanley™ micro tumbler, causing her to die instantly.
Published: Wednesday, November 29th, 2023 @ 1:18 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local consumers were caught in a familiar but confusing position this week after television advertisements from a popular beer manufacturer urged viewers to "drink responsibly" while simultaneously prompting them to purchase as much beer as possible.
Published: Sunday, November 19th, 2023 @ 3:56 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A federal court struck down part of a similar Georgia law.
Published: Saturday, November 11th, 2023 @ 3:08 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
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Americans are beginning to suspect President Obama might be gay after being spotted driving about town in a new Ford Raptor while drinking a Bud Light.
Published: Saturday, November 11th, 2023 @ 9:41 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Authorities in Margaritaville have called for all the tiny drink umbrellas to be flown at half-staff today in honor of the late Mayor, Mr. Jimmy Buffett.
Published: Monday, November 6th, 2023 @ 10:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local corporate sales executive Chet Tetters downed his third Monster energy drink this morning, ensuring he has at least 180,000% of the daily value of vitamin B12 he needs to achieve peak health and performance.
Published: Wednesday, October 25th, 2023 @ 8:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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North Carolina has invested $2.8 billion in water and wastewater infrastructure across the state
Published: Monday, September 18th, 2023 @ 9:18 am
By: Governor's Office
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Daily marijuana use was reported by nearly 7% of mid-life adults.
Published: Thursday, September 14th, 2023 @ 7:40 am
By: Daily Wire
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RALEIGH: North Carolina continues to lead the way addressing per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances or PFAS. Last week, the North Carolina Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) took key steps to develop state surface water and groundwater standards for PFAS compounds.
Published: Sunday, September 10th, 2023 @ 9:12 am
By: Governor's Office
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When COVID struck the U.S., shutting down music and sports venues, movie theaters, bowling alleys, and more, Americans found a new hobby: drinking.
Published: Saturday, August 5th, 2023 @ 2:55 am
By: Daily Wire
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Devout local Christian Josh McKay has decided he can no longer in good conscience get wasted drinking Bud Light, and has therefore switched to scotch.
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 9:38 am
By: Babylon Bee
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If you’re drinking water directly from the tap, there’s a chance it contains potentially harmful “forever chemicals,” according to a study released Wednesday by the United States Geological Survey (USGS).
Published: Thursday, July 20th, 2023 @ 9:10 am
By: Daily Wire
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Let's face it, getting good sleep can be tough these days! From the busyness of parenting fussy children to the stress of the day's news, there's always something keeping you awake.
Published: Monday, July 17th, 2023 @ 5:43 am
By: Babylon Bee
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So-called “forever chemicals” in drinking water are contributing to obesity and making weight loss harder, a new study finds.
Published: Sunday, June 25th, 2023 @ 12:34 am
By: Daily Wire
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A group of local bros were able to provide their own entertainment during a night out drinking cosmos as they took turns laughing at their friend who had gayly ordered a Bud Light.
Published: Sunday, June 4th, 2023 @ 8:12 am
By: Babylon Bee
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World’s Largest Food Company Hikes Prices Nearly 10% In Just Three Months Due To Inflation PressuresNestlé, the largest food and drink company in the world, raised prices by a collective 9.8% in the first three months of the year as inflationary pressures increased input costs for the business.
Published: Monday, May 15th, 2023 @ 12:38 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Local parents Tim and Julia Yoder were understandably upset when their 17-year-old daughter Carlie came home drunk last weekend. However, their anger quickly turned to relief upon learning that Carlie had not, in fact, been consuming Bud Light.
Published: Saturday, May 6th, 2023 @ 8:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As conservatives across the nation vowed to no longer drink Budweiser products, people who possess functional taste buds have promised to continue their decades-long boycott of Bud Light as well.
Published: Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 @ 8:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Here’s a scathing Twitter thread debunking that study:
Published: Tuesday, April 18th, 2023 @ 8:06 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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A local man left no room for debate among onlookers today, as his drinking Bud Light and listening to country music made it abundantly obvious to everyone who saw him that he was, in fact, gay.
Published: Monday, April 17th, 2023 @ 9:38 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Today, U.S. Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC) announced a $179.9 million grant for essential drinking water infrastructure upgrades across North Carolina through the Drinking Water State Revolving Fund (DWSRF).
Published: Wednesday, April 12th, 2023 @ 10:37 am
By: ENC NOW
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EPA Administrator Michael Regan announced a first of its kind National Primary Drinking Water Regulation at a press conference in Wilmington on Tuesday. The regulation applies to six PFAS (Per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances) also known as “forever chemicals” that can be found in drinking water.
Published: Monday, April 10th, 2023 @ 8:13 am
By: Carolina Journal
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Gov. Roy Cooper and NC Department of Environmental Quality (NCDEQ) Secretary Elizabeth S. Biser announced Thursday that 249 infrastructure projects in 80 communities across North Carolina would receive $462.9 million to aid in cleaner drinking water and strengthen wastewater and stormwater systems.
Published: Monday, March 13th, 2023 @ 11:58 am
By: Carolina Journal
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After a surprise visit to Ukraine and a photo op with Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, some are pressing Biden on the environmental crisis in East Palestine. He finally broke his silence on the issue to reporters by suggesting those affected just give up drinking water for Lent.
Published: Thursday, February 23rd, 2023 @ 11:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Sen. J.D. Vance (R-OH) challenged EPA Administrator Michael Regan to drink a glass of tap water in East Palestine, Ohio, after the agency claimed the water supply was safe despite the small town’s recent Norfolk Southern train derailment and toxic chemical disaster.
Published: Thursday, February 23rd, 2023 @ 10:37 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Amid growing concerns about the risks residents could be facing due to pollution of the air, soil, and water after the catastrophic February 3rd train derailment and subsequent toxic chemical release, officials were quick to assure the public that test results indicate the water in the area is fine
Published: Monday, February 20th, 2023 @ 8:52 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Have you ever sat at work while drinking a burnt cup of coffee-turned-lukewarm and wondered what exactly you’re working so hard for in President Joe Biden’s economy?
Published: Wednesday, January 25th, 2023 @ 1:15 am
By: Daily Wire
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BCN offers a more whimsical Carson; a Carson that possibly did find that stiff drink.
Published: Monday, December 26th, 2022 @ 9:43 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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CNN Cracks Down On Drinking During ‘New Year’s Eve Live,’ Viewers Mourn Loss Of Hosts’ On-Air AnticsCNN is cracking down on its anchors boozing on its “New Year’s Eve Live” show.
Published: Friday, December 16th, 2022 @ 4:20 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Opening door have consequences
Published: Sunday, September 25th, 2022 @ 11:29 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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Japan’s National Tax Agency, a government division responsible for collecting taxes, is sponsoring a unique business strategy contest in hopes of enticing more young people to drink alcohol.
Published: Wednesday, August 31st, 2022 @ 11:51 am
By: Daily Wire
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Hey capitalists! You still think your system is perfect? Well, think again! Capitalism is one of the worst things to happen to humanity and we'll show you why.
Published: Monday, August 29th, 2022 @ 12:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Drink water contains toxins.
Published: Wednesday, August 24th, 2022 @ 1:50 pm
By: Countrygirl1411
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On the next episode of “The Ben Shapiro Show Sunday Special,” Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) discusses why he was treated as a villain by the media throughout the COVID-19 pandemic and the hypocrisy of those viewed as heroes during the same time.
Published: Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022 @ 10:44 am
By: Daily Wire
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Unprecedented 385 projects for 225 NC Applicants
Published: Thursday, July 28th, 2022 @ 8:48 pm
By: Governor's Office
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This week, fraternity member Bill Williamson died from alcohol poisoning during a drinking game. The rules of the game were simple: take a shot of whiskey every time the phrase "January 6" is uttered on CNN.
Published: Monday, July 4th, 2022 @ 1:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A woman who used to live in the same housing complex as the 15-year-old charged with killing four students with a handgun and injuring several others said she called Child Protective Services (CPS) on the family years earlier to warn them about potential neglect.
Published: Saturday, July 2nd, 2022 @ 10:28 am
By: Daily Wire
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A bombshell report emerged this week from the Southern Baptist Convention: the denomination famous for abstinence and definitely nothing else has been harboring a secret alcohol cabinet for decades.
Published: Monday, May 30th, 2022 @ 6:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Actor Ben Affleck seemed to blame his marriage to actress Jennifer Garner for his substance abuse during a recent interview with host Howard Stern.
Published: Sunday, May 15th, 2022 @ 12:27 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Blasting actor Ben Affleck after his interview with radio shock jock Howard Stern in which Affleck linked his marriage to ex-wife Jennifer Garner regarding his drinking problems, Piers Morgan snapped
Published: Wednesday, May 11th, 2022 @ 1:18 am
By: Daily Wire
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