Man Drinking Bud Light, Listening To Country Music Clearly Gay | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    HUNTSVILLE, AL     A local man left no room for debate among onlookers today, as his drinking Bud Light and listening to country music made it abundantly obvious to everyone who saw him that he was, in fact, gay. Though he was apparently unaware of it himself, he was assured by people nearby that it was official.

    "There's no doubt about it. He's super gay," said one witness who saw the man sitting in a pile of hay listening to Kelsea Ballerini's "Heartfirst" and enjoying an ice-cold Bud Light. "Nobody who does those things could possibly be heterosexual or even masculine in any way."

    In years gone by, men who were clearly gay could be identified as such by wearing feather boas, sporting eyeliner, and listening to Lady Gaga, but times have changed. With country music celebrating LGBTQ lifestyles and Bud Light hiring Dylan Mulvaney as a spokesperson, millions of previously manly, heterosexual men are now readily identifiable as totally, totally gay.

    "Bud Light has been my go-to beer for years," said Brad Anderson. "And I grew up listening to country music. But today, somebody told me that those things clearly identify me as a gay. I had no idea!" Despite his employment as a construction worker and his love for watching NASCAR races, Anderson was notified that his homosexuality was now undeniable.

    At publishing time, Anderson was debating with himself internally whether to find a new beer and change his musical tastes, or instead resign himself to his new status as a very obviously, absolutely gay man.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )



Comments

( April 17th, 2023 @ 2:07 pm )
 
Ura Nidiot: Come on, this is a little bit funny ... "NOT that there's anything wrong with that."
( April 17th, 2023 @ 10:46 am )
 
Wow, this is so pathetic. You people are allegedly adults acting like freshmen in high school. Whats next, "man drinking red wine clearly gay" or "man wearing pink shirt moments away from transitioning to woman"

You guys are pathetic, your jokes are awful, get a freaking life.



Half of America's top selling beers have gone woke - which to avoid Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Toddlers Discover More Of Biden’s Classified Documents Inside Easter Eggs


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

President Joe Biden took direct aim at Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas during a recent interview, referring to him simply as “the guy who likes to spend a lot of time on yachts.”
The best way the county and city can help hold down inflation is to resist all tax increases
Pope Francis lambasted leftist gender ideology during an address this week, warning that it presented an extreme danger to mankind.
amnesty would just encourage more illegal aliens to storm our borders
The Christmas candy was barely off the shelves when the Valentine’s candy appeared. Red and pink hearts with caramel and nut-filled chocolate goodness caught our eye. We are reminded of how we love love. Young love, especially.
far left sugar daddy has also funded anti-Israel groups and politicians in US
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it
America needs to wake up and get its priorities right

HbAD1

Former President Donald Trump suggested this week that if he becomes president again, he might allow Prince Harry to be deported.
It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Vice President Kamala Harris will visit a Minnesota Planned Parenthood clinic, reportedly the first time a president or vice president has visited an abortion facility.
An eight-mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway near Asheville has been temporarily closed due to a string of “human and bear interactions,” the National Parks Service announced.
University of Wisconsin tried to punish conservatives for the fact that liberals regularly commit crimes to silence opposition
most voters think EU officials not doing a good job on illegal immigration
Come from behind by GOP candidate is a blueprint to 2024
Biden spending and energy policies to blame

HbAD2

Tuberculosis carried by illegal invaders has already infected Texas cattle
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said this week that the only campaign promise President Joe Biden has delivered on as president is the complete dismantling of the U.S. southern border.
Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
President Joe Biden’s brother told the Internal Revenue Service that Hunter Biden told him he was in business with a “protege of President Xi,” referring to the leader of China, according to notes by an IRS investigator that were divulged during a congressional interview of Jim Biden.
Gov. Roy Cooper seeks a temporary restraining order to block a law changing the composition of the State Board of Elections.
X owner Elon Musk mocked a news segment from ABC News this week that promoted President Joe Biden’s talking points about the Democrat-led Senate’s failed border bill, which critics and many experts have said would make the situation on the border worse.
That’s the question Marguerite Roza of Georgetown University’s Edunomics Lab sought to answer in a recent webinar on the topic.
The University of Florida has fired all of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) employees and shut down its DEI office.
Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top