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Results found for "star wars"


After a decade of identity politics and creative chaos, Dave Filoni takes the helm to salvage a fractured galaxy.
Published: Thursday, January 29th, 2026 @ 1:13 am By: Daily Wire
After a decade of identity politics and creative chaos, Dave Filoni takes the helm to salvage a fractured galaxy.
 
Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
Published: Thursday, April 4th, 2024 @ 6:32 pm By: Babylon Bee
Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
 
After years of training to be a pilot for the Rebel Alliance, eager young pilot Nej Berik was devastated to discover he had been assigned to fly the totally lame B-wing fighter.
After years of training to be a pilot for the Rebel Alliance, eager young pilot Nej Berik was devastated to discover he had been assigned to fly the totally lame B-wing fighter.
 
Controversial former U.S. women's soccer player Megan Rapinoe was not unemployed for long, as the Galactic Empire reportedly recruited the recently retired athlete to train its stormtroopers to shoot.
Published: Friday, October 6th, 2023 @ 10:38 am By: Babylon Bee
Controversial former U.S. women's soccer player Megan Rapinoe was not unemployed for long, as the Galactic Empire reportedly recruited the recently retired athlete to train its stormtroopers to shoot.
 
Ladies, we know you want us. Who wouldn't? Every woman wants a guy who spends all his time talking about Tolkien and Star Wars and playing Zelda, but how can you attract one? It's an age-old question, but thankfully, there are very simple answers.
Ladies, we know you want us. Who wouldn't? Every woman wants a guy who spends all his time talking about Tolkien and Star Wars and playing Zelda, but how can you attract one? It's an age-old question, but thankfully, there are very simple answers.
 
Emperor Palpatine was said to be very pleased with the latest ballistics report on stormtrooper marksmanship, as the Imperial Army's collective accuracy percentage improved dramatically after adding pistol braces to all blasters.
Published: Friday, September 8th, 2023 @ 8:46 am By: Babylon Bee
Emperor Palpatine was said to be very pleased with the latest ballistics report on stormtrooper marksmanship, as the Imperial Army's collective accuracy percentage improved dramatically after adding pistol braces to all blasters.
 
The Galactic Empire announced new merchandise today, with the Emperor releasing a special hat saying "But his Death Star".
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 10:16 am By: Babylon Bee
The Galactic Empire announced new merchandise today, with the Emperor releasing a special hat saying "But his Death Star".
 
Local gangster Jabba the Hutt has threatened legal action against United Airlines, accusing the company of discrimination after he was charged for multiple seats on a flight. Hutt alleges he is being treated differently because of his weight.
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 1:22 am By: Babylon Bee
Local gangster Jabba the Hutt has threatened legal action against United Airlines, accusing the company of discrimination after he was charged for multiple seats on a flight. Hutt alleges he is being treated differently because of his weight.
 
Hollywood great Al Pacino opened up about the movie role he said he regrets not doing as he jokingly took a dig at Harrison Ford — who he said has never thanked him for landing the part in “Star Wars” that would launch his career.
Published: Sunday, June 11th, 2023 @ 10:54 pm By: Daily Wire
Hollywood great Al Pacino opened up about the movie role he said he regrets not doing as he jokingly took a dig at Harrison Ford — who he said has never thanked him for landing the part in “Star Wars” that would launch his career.
 
Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
Published: Friday, June 9th, 2023 @ 12:20 pm By: Babylon Bee
Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
 
Disney World announced it is shutting down an immersive Star Wars luxury hotel that opened in March 2022.
Published: Monday, June 5th, 2023 @ 7:26 am By: Daily Wire
Disney World announced it is shutting down an immersive Star Wars luxury hotel that opened in March 2022.
 
A local father determined the time had come to sit his young son down and officially have "The Talk"...about the Star Wars sequel trilogy. The man reportedly knew he couldn't avoid it any longer once the boy began to talk about how great The Last Jedi was.
Published: Sunday, June 4th, 2023 @ 4:06 am By: Babylon Bee
A local father determined the time had come to sit his young son down and officially have "The Talk"...about the Star Wars sequel trilogy. The man reportedly knew he couldn't avoid it any longer once the boy began to talk about how great The Last Jedi was.
 
In a massive technological breakthrough, the Galactic Empire has at last developed a door that doesn't simply open when you shoot the control panel with a blaster.
Published: Tuesday, May 30th, 2023 @ 7:54 pm By: Babylon Bee
In a massive technological breakthrough, the Galactic Empire has at last developed a door that doesn't simply open when you shoot the control panel with a blaster.
 
In a bid to draw large corporate interests to conduct business in South Carolina and bring tens of thousands of jobs to the state, former governor and U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley has informed Emperor Palpatine that South Carolina is the ideal location to build a new Death Star.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 10:13 am By: Babylon Bee
In a bid to draw large corporate interests to conduct business in South Carolina and bring tens of thousands of jobs to the state, former governor and U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley has informed Emperor Palpatine that South Carolina is the ideal location to build a new Death Star.
 
According to sources, President Biden's team is planning to submerge the President in a bacta tank tonight so his mind and body will be prepared for his upcoming State of the Union address.
According to sources, President Biden's team is planning to submerge the President in a bacta tank tonight so his mind and body will be prepared for his upcoming State of the Union address.
 
Jedi Master Yoda, living in self-imposed exile, proudly announced to his first visitor in decades that his pronouns are Him/He.
Published: Friday, January 27th, 2023 @ 3:13 pm By: Babylon Bee
Jedi Master Yoda, living in self-imposed exile, proudly announced to his first visitor in decades that his pronouns are Him/He.
 
The conflict among congressional Republicans took yet another surprise twist today. After what had initially started as a throwaway nomination, the nation was left stunned as the position of Speaker of the House was unexpectedly filled by Jar Jar Binks.
Published: Sunday, January 8th, 2023 @ 10:35 pm By: Babylon Bee
The conflict among congressional Republicans took yet another surprise twist today. After what had initially started as a throwaway nomination, the nation was left stunned as the position of Speaker of the House was unexpectedly filled by Jar Jar Binks.
 
A local Star Wars fan was excitedly awaiting the premiere of the new Andor series on Disney+ so that he will have fresh material about which he can spend the next several weeks complaining to anyone who dares to come near him.
A local Star Wars fan was excitedly awaiting the premiere of the new Andor series on Disney+ so that he will have fresh material about which he can spend the next several weeks complaining to anyone who dares to come near him.
 
After another controversial video was released showing the dark Jedi Force-choking a suspected Jedi Monday afternoon, Dark Lord of the Sith Supreme Darth Vader has been jailed on suspicion of excessive use of the Force.
After another controversial video was released showing the dark Jedi Force-choking a suspected Jedi Monday afternoon, Dark Lord of the Sith Supreme Darth Vader has been jailed on suspicion of excessive use of the Force.
 
Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who famously started two wars in the Middle East and shot a dude in the face while hunting, now says Donald Trump is the greatest threat America has ever faced.
Published: Friday, August 12th, 2022 @ 1:35 am By: Babylon Bee
Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who famously started two wars in the Middle East and shot a dude in the face while hunting, now says Donald Trump is the greatest threat America has ever faced.
 
After Roe v. Wade was overturned, actor Mark Hamill took to Twitter to angrily condemn the decision — as well as people who adopt children like the Star Wars characters Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.
Published: Thursday, July 7th, 2022 @ 5:22 pm By: Babylon Bee
After Roe v. Wade was overturned, actor Mark Hamill took to Twitter to angrily condemn the decision — as well as people who adopt children like the Star Wars characters Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.
 
George Lucas has put up his own billboards in response to the Disney billboards promoting their latest Star Wars shows. The famed director and creator of Star Wars appeared to be mocking the very company he sold Star Wars to for their lackluster efforts to make passable content.
Published: Thursday, June 2nd, 2022 @ 6:27 pm By: Babylon Bee
George Lucas has put up his own billboards in response to the Disney billboards promoting their latest Star Wars shows. The famed director and creator of Star Wars appeared to be mocking the very company he sold Star Wars to for their lackluster efforts to make passable content.
 
Orthodox Star Wars fans have reportedly begun preparations for Star Wars Day, which they say occurs on May 11th.
Published: Monday, May 16th, 2022 @ 7:19 am By: Babylon Bee
Orthodox Star Wars fans have reportedly begun preparations for Star Wars Day, which they say occurs on May 11th.
 
Conservatives Continue to Unite Behind Ted Budd as the Best Choice to Win in November and Fight for Conservative Principles in the US Senate
Published: Saturday, May 7th, 2022 @ 2:19 pm By: Stan Deatherage
Conservatives Continue to Unite Behind Ted Budd as the Best Choice to Win in November and Fight for Conservative Principles in the US Senate
 
Elon Musk and a brave band of adventurers snuck aboard the Twitter Death Star to free prisoners located on the space station's detention level, sources with the Galactic Rebellion confirm.
Published: Friday, April 22nd, 2022 @ 2:13 am By: Babylon Bee
Elon Musk and a brave band of adventurers snuck aboard the Twitter Death Star to free prisoners located on the space station's detention level, sources with the Galactic Rebellion confirm.
 
According to sources, local conservative/libertarian-ish man Kyle McManus on Monday pondered how Disney has so much money, power, and cultural influence to push its leftist agenda.
Published: Thursday, April 14th, 2022 @ 1:07 am By: Babylon Bee
According to sources, local conservative/libertarian-ish man Kyle McManus on Monday pondered how Disney has so much money, power, and cultural influence to push its leftist agenda.
 
The Force Awakens is an outstanding return to the Star Wars franchise.
The Force Awakens is an outstanding return to the Star Wars franchise.
 
Andrew Jack, an actor who starred in the “Star Wars” franchise and the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, died Tuesday from coronavirus-related complications.
Published: Wednesday, April 1st, 2020 @ 6:41 pm By: Daily Wire
Andrew Jack, an actor who starred in the “Star Wars” franchise and the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, died Tuesday from coronavirus-related complications.
 
Add another titan director to the list of titan directors dismissive of the trend of assembly-line movies created by the “Star Wars” and Marvel franchises: Quentin Tarantino.
Published: Monday, January 27th, 2020 @ 8:15 pm By: Daily Wire
Add another titan director to the list of titan directors dismissive of the trend of assembly-line movies created by the “Star Wars” and Marvel franchises: Quentin Tarantino.
 
Kevin Hart lost his dream job as Oscar host, we're told, because he didn't follow the Academy's demand to apologize for his insensitive comments about homosexuality.
Kevin Hart lost his dream job as Oscar host, we're told, because he didn't follow the Academy's demand to apologize for his insensitive comments about homosexuality.
 
Is it really time for the Jedi to end?
Is it really time for the Jedi to end?
 
A few days ago an investigative reporter did a look back on the history of businessman, Donald Trump
A few days ago an investigative reporter did a look back on the history of businessman, Donald Trump
 

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