New Star Wars Film To Feature Female Jedi Who Turns To The Dark Side At The Same Time Every Month | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    HOLLYWOOD, CA     Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.

    "We think female audiences will relate to a character who becomes moody and homicidal once a month," the film's director Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy told reporters in a press conference this week. "I mean, our target demographic is definitely women, right? So featuring an empowered, self-assured female Jedi who just sort of goes on a Dark Side-y type rampage once a month for...reasons...will click with the millions of women who flock to see our films."

    "The force is female, and we know that a diverse, female-led Star Wars franchise is the key to the hearts of modern audiences," she said.

    Obaid-Chinoy said they did extensive research on why a lady Jedi might turn evil once a month and discovered that mostly it relates to the fact that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and suffering leads to women needing a little alone time, a good bar of chocolate, and a hot bath.

    At publishing time, focus groups viewing the film reported slight uneasiness watching the main character yell at restaurant servers, stuff her face full of McDonald's french fries, and cry uncontrollably over an off-handed comment made by one of her male Jedi counterparts.