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Results found for "toilet"


Everything's more expensive in this economy, including toilet paper! If you're looking to save some money on pricey bathroom tissue, here are a few equally viable alternatives for wiping your posterior.
Everything's more expensive in this economy, including toilet paper! If you're looking to save some money on pricey bathroom tissue, here are a few equally viable alternatives for wiping your posterior.
 
After you get married, it's common for the flame of love to cool, with each spouse eventually reaching the point of using the toilet with the bathroom door open, wearing nothing but sweatpants around the house, and finding deep-seated flaws in the way each other breathes.
Published: Friday, November 24th, 2023 @ 1:45 am By: Babylon Bee
After you get married, it's common for the flame of love to cool, with each spouse eventually reaching the point of using the toilet with the bathroom door open, wearing nothing but sweatpants around the house, and finding deep-seated flaws in the way each other breathes.
 
Liberal man Jonathan Seymour passed away, dying on the toilet as he awaited instructions from the Center for Disease Control on how to wipe his own butt.
Published: Sunday, October 29th, 2023 @ 12:03 am By: Babylon Bee
Liberal man Jonathan Seymour passed away, dying on the toilet as he awaited instructions from the Center for Disease Control on how to wipe his own butt.
 
Plumbing experts have determined that screaming, "No!! No, dear heavens, no!!!" is the most effective method of addressing an overflowing toilet.
Published: Monday, October 23rd, 2023 @ 3:51 pm By: Babylon Bee
Plumbing experts have determined that screaming, "No!! No, dear heavens, no!!!" is the most effective method of addressing an overflowing toilet.
 
A local man found himself in a jam when his toilet failed to flush yesterday morning. Rather than call a professional plumber to fix the issue, the man called upon the entire backlog of plumbing knowledge he has accumulated during his life: jiggling the toilet handle.
Published: Tuesday, May 30th, 2023 @ 12:00 am By: Babylon Bee
A local man found himself in a jam when his toilet failed to flush yesterday morning. Rather than call a professional plumber to fix the issue, the man called upon the entire backlog of plumbing knowledge he has accumulated during his life: jiggling the toilet handle.
 
The economy is in the toilet! What will you do? Relax! This is nothing to worry about. We're all just transitioning to a brighter future together!
The economy is in the toilet! What will you do? Relax! This is nothing to worry about. We're all just transitioning to a brighter future together!
 
After collecting data from thousands of toilets across the country, dog scientists have definitively determined that toilet water contains essential nutrients not found in a water bowl.
After collecting data from thousands of toilets across the country, dog scientists have definitively determined that toilet water contains essential nutrients not found in a water bowl.
 
no wonder our economy is in toilet with Biden
Published: Thursday, July 14th, 2022 @ 7:06 pm By: John Steed
no wonder our economy is in toilet with Biden
 
Amber Heard has landed a major endorsement deal with Proctor & Gamble to promote Charmin brand toilet paper products.
Published: Wednesday, June 8th, 2022 @ 1:19 am By: Babylon Bee
Amber Heard has landed a major endorsement deal with Proctor & Gamble to promote Charmin brand toilet paper products.
 
Authorities discovered an incapacitated father Thursday night while following up on reports of a possible domestic disturbance.
Published: Tuesday, May 24th, 2022 @ 2:26 pm By: Babylon Bee
Authorities discovered an incapacitated father Thursday night while following up on reports of a possible domestic disturbance.
 
“ ... standing with his crotch in Plaintiff's face, while Plaintiff was defecating on the toilet ...”
Published: Sunday, April 3rd, 2022 @ 8:26 am By: Daily Wire
“ ... standing with his crotch in Plaintiff's face, while Plaintiff was defecating on the toilet ...”
 
The year ended with a record-breaking $3.1 trillion deficit and, as usual, the U.S. government managed to blow tens of billions on a myriad of wasteful projects that should provoke outrage among tax-paying Americans.
The year ended with a record-breaking $3.1 trillion deficit and, as usual, the U.S. government managed to blow tens of billions on a myriad of wasteful projects that should provoke outrage among tax-paying Americans.
 
Yesterday I went grocery shopping with my wife. Well, actually, I waited in the car while she did the shopping.
Yesterday I went grocery shopping with my wife. Well, actually, I waited in the car while she did the shopping.
 
Forget toilet paper. Get ready for a food shortage!
Home renovations can improve our lives. But most of us would see a problem if we woke up one morning and noticed that our homes had 12 bedrooms and one bathroom, with a kitchen in the back yard and a toilet in the living room
Home renovations can improve our lives. But most of us would see a problem if we woke up one morning and noticed that our homes had 12 bedrooms and one bathroom, with a kitchen in the back yard and a toilet in the living room
 
In a domain in which the proposed "therapies" are so drastic, it is not too much to ask for a solid, evidence-based statement of who is being treated, for what, and why, before writing a prescription or passing a law.
In a domain in which the proposed "therapies" are so drastic, it is not too much to ask for a solid, evidence-based statement of who is being treated, for what, and why, before writing a prescription or passing a law.
 
Sometimes, we find ourselves debating whether Barry Obama is simply incompetent or willfully driving our economy into the toilet.
Published: Tuesday, May 20th, 2014 @ 10:24 pm By: Brant Clifton
Sometimes, we find ourselves debating whether Barry Obama is simply incompetent or willfully driving our economy into the toilet.
 
The Pentagon budget is a popular target of leftists when the whole concept of cutting spending gets raised. Stories from the 80s about alleged $2000 toilet seats are recycled.
The Pentagon budget is a popular target of leftists when the whole concept of cutting spending gets raised. Stories from the 80s about alleged $2000 toilet seats are recycled.
 
The other day my husband was in the bathroom, clearing his mind and taking care of business, when he opened the door and shouted to my son: "Hunter, bring me some toilet paper... NOW!"
Published: Saturday, April 21st, 2012 @ 2:01 am By: Diane Rufino
The other day my husband was in the bathroom, clearing his mind and taking care of business, when he opened the door and shouted to my son: "Hunter, bring me some toilet paper... NOW!"
 

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