Experts Agree Yelling 'NO NO NO!' As Water Rises Best Way To Fix Overflowing Toilet | Eastern North Carolina Now

Plumbing experts have determined that screaming, "No!! No, dear heavens, no!!!" is the most effective method of addressing an overflowing toilet.

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ARVADA, CO     Plumbing experts have determined that screaming, "No!! No, dear heavens, no!!!" is the most effective method of addressing an overflowing toilet.

    "That's the key to avoiding flooding," said local plumber John Dudley. "You've got to really express that complete and total panic."

    With the prospect of utter shame and humiliation over a clogged toilet at hand, civil engineering experts say that the more fear in your screaming, the better. "That's what really makes water flow downhill," said local engineer Dan Beminski. "Screaming in absolute terror at the thought of your turd sending poop water all over a friend's house is the golden ticket."

    Local man Ben Larson reported incredible success in using his horrified cries to overcome a rapidly rising toilet at his in-laws' home. "I just started yelling as loud as I possibly could," said Mr. Larson. "Come to find out, that's exactly how the pros handle this kind of situation. I couldn't be more thankful. I can't imagine having to ask my mother-in-law where she keeps the plunger."

    At publishing time, plumbers had also recommended making a really stupid face and shouting obscenities if a faucet starts spraying all over you.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

Tennessee Republicans Declare ‘War’ On Human Trafficking Amid Special Session Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Republicans Debate To See Who's Going To Lose To Biden In A Landslide Mail-In Vote In Middle Of Night


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

12% spike in heart-related deaths from eating plant-based fake meat
Reform leader Nigel Farage says his party will be new voice of conservatism in UK
lower courts can deport illegal aliens who miss their hearings
Not a dime's worth of difference between D's and R's in the GA leadership
Democrat strategist James Carville raged against the legacy media this week, demanding that they take an even more biased approach when reporting on former President Donald Trump.


Dominion Voting Systems to incorrectly calculate vote totals
Stopping its attempt to rewrite Title IX to force Texas schools to adopt radical “transgender” policies
Republican congressman Byron Donalds said it would be a “great honor” if former President Donald Trump were to ask him to be his running-mate for 2024, saying the ultimate goal is for Trump to win and he’ll do whatever he’s asked to help him do that.
weaponized political FBI needs major reform or replacement
2019, 40 Democrats signed a letter saying they condemned the Nazi Azov Battalion in Ukraine
Voters in Arizona will have the opportunity to enact broad border security measures in November as the state faces a flood of illegal immigration after the Republican-led state legislature passed a resolution that will put the measures on the general election ballot.
51 ex-spies lies to the American people threw the 2020 election
The former White House physician for Presidents Barack Obama and Donald Trump says that a new report this week about how President Joe Biden is struggling to function behind closed doors represents a serious threat to the U.S.


The Tikva Forum for Families of Hostages, an Israeli group created to represent the families of those taken during Hamas’ October 7 terrorist attack, urged President Joe Biden to stop interfering with Israel’s campaign to destroy the terrorist group.
how the Democrats set up the January 6 riot at the Capitol
this is why the left is now attacking Supreme Court justices
Addiction is not just a physical issue, it is also deeply spiritual
told to let all single males just walk in excpet for 6 countries
After saying the six-foot social distancing guideline during the COVID-19 pandemic “sort of just appeared,” Dr. Anthony Fauci on Monday testified that his statement had been “distorted” and that it “actually” came from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).


Back to Top