Twenty-five ways to recognize a liberal | Eastern North Carolina Now

As I promised in my last edition of "Noteworthy" (published in Beaufort Observer and Beaufort County Now), I am now prepared to help you identify a Liberal whether in an economic, political, social or spiritual sense. Please recognize that "Liberalism" is a mental disorder that afflicts both Democrats, Republicans and even some Independents. So here goes:

Economic Liberals

      Liberals love money. Yours!

      Liberals love to solve the problems they create with your money.

      Liberals believe that upon your death the "State" should inherit not your heirs.

      Liberals do not budget because their conscience and math skills are weak.

      Liberals would have you "send it all in" and give back what they think you deserve.

      Liberals believe if they have checks they have money.

Political Liberals

      Liberals are "Statists" who believe you are a cog in the machinery rather than an individual with personal         aspirations.

      Liberals are monarchists who regret our defeat of the British in 1776. Can you say Tories?

      Liberals are appeasers. Could that be why we have so many undisciplined, conflicted and troubled         children? "I want to be your friend".

      Liberals are good at oratory (hot air) and second rate theatre but you wouldn't want them in a foxhole         with you.

      Liberals will always put the needs of the "collective" ahead of the rights of the individual.

Social Liberals

      Liberals are omnipotent busy bodies (Elitists) who know what is best for you.

      Liberals despise competition in any form because it puts them at a disadvantage.

      Liberals pierce their anatomies to make it easier to be led. No independent thinkers here.

      Liberals believe in "equal outcomes" regardless of effort or talent. This represents a total ignorance of the         nature of man.

      Liberals are "politically correct" unless confronted with an enlightened adversary. "You just couldn't         believe the things they say".

      Liberals constantly contradict themselves. "First you say you will and then you won't". . . .

      Liberals don't wear American Flag lapel pins, unless they are upside down.

Spiritual Liberals

      Liberals only bow down to other liberals and foreign despots.

      Liberals leave out "Under God" when and if the recite The Pledge of Allegiance. They wouldn't want to         offend anybody would they?

      Liberals believe in immortality. They're own.

      Liberals will decide your worth to the "State" before aborting or pulling the plug on you.

      Liberals read Darwin, Freud and Hugh Hefner. This accounts for their degenerate view of the         common man.

      Liberals tend to identify with indolent losers and despise life's winners. Winners fend for themselves and         create their own utopias and that angers the collectivists.

      Liberals fear God because he is loose in the world.

      All of this should be useful to conservatives as it will enable them to cross to the other side of the street         when approached by a Liberal.

    John LaCava is a retired educator. He taught for 38 years in the public schools and at the college level before retiring last year and moving to Bath with his wife Sallie. They have five children and two grandchildren. John has been active in the community whereever he has lived. He started an adult vocal group in Luray, Va called the Main St. Singers and also started a performing arts center which provided education and live professional performances in music, theatre, and dance. He is a native of Lynn, MA; which is but a hop, skip and a jump from where the Revolutionary War began and John retains the Spirit of Patriotism his forefathers had. Now we're working hard to make him a Southerner.