Expectation Management response | Eastern North Carolina Now

    You are far better than a Water Boy, good buddy.

    I think Jesus went to the boys on the fishing boat because he wanted real men with real compassion. Although the Bible does not explain why Jesus picked some fishermen rather than graduates from the School of the Pharisees, I think it had to do with pretense and manipulation. Those men at the docks were well known for hard work and throwing an extra fish on every purchase --- perhaps, giving free fish to the truly starving customers with no money. It is just like all the help of classmates I got on our recent visit. Two of the guys we lunched with at the Old Hickory House left money in my hand when we parted and shook.

    Just like the Church of the Big Show today, much of Temple religion of his day was performance without ministry to the down-and-out and poor --- as well as the sick seeking help.

    Anyone can perform religion. Few are caring enough to sacrifice and get dirty doing religion. "I'll pray for you" is empty unless one is willing to actually carry a person seeking work and without transportation around to places where job application can be submitted. A good Christian businessman may even open a job for a real needy person! They help one another in this case.

    Here is an example of my call to help my church solve a potential mess:

    When we returned to Rocky Mount for my new insurance practice with Ministers Life we joined Lonya's home church, Lakeside. It is affluent and the Pastor was a preacher's kid just like me. He hated "all things Southern Baptist." It was a rebellion of sorts against that he knew growing up in traditional SBC churches. We became active in the Youth Ministry since our children were both teens at the time. It was a pleasure to just attend and not get more involved. We had all been badly hurt with the crucifixions at Noonday and Loris FBC. We had started a new church at Loris. Promises made by many to join "as soon as you get more established and have a building" were empty. The social pressure on any who might leave FBC were enormous. The Deacons actually got off their duffs and started ministering and visiting --- to keep us from growing the new church. Even in turmoil, good things happen --- which would not when I was the Pastor and asking Deacons to be an active part of Deacon Family Ministry.

    Now back to Lakeside.

    I had an office in the same little building as the Deacon Chairman. John came in my office and wanted to close the door and talk. He began to share the dilemma at Lakeside. It was in a turmoil. I had no idea until he told me how bad it was. The Pastor and his Staff were in a battle royal. The Associate Pastor's wife (who played the organ) and the elder Church Secretary were ready to kill him over some poor judgement counseling a woman he had feelings for. In return, the Pastor had called a number of his best supporters of some 20 years to tell them what was happening "by evil Staff members." He was wanting to see them gone. The Deacons were to the point of quickly ending it by firing everybody! I told John I would check into it with the principals of the mess.

    I took about a week of constant sitting and listening to Staff and Pastor privately. It was most real. The entire Staff all finally agreed to meet on a Sunday afternoon and talk face-to-face for a change. It was "knives-and-daggers" looks and emotion. I told them bluntly what was fixing to happen. It seemed to me if they could compose a letter stating their willingness to cooperate and work out the problems, send it to the Deacons, then see if they might give them some time to improve. All finally allowed me to step out and compose a draft letter for them to possibly sign.

    I did my best to express what they had just discussed and they finally all signed it. The Pastor made them a promise to call in some expert help for more discussion and solution to the issues. He never did it. For me, that was his confession to his own guilt. The Deacons gave them the chance, in time all found separate places of work and the problem did not erupt into a small town embarrassment. It would not have happened if I played Water Boy and went about my demanding insurance work.

    To be honest, I had a fill of Baptist conflict and wanted nothing to do with it. Since it was our home church and we had been married there, I felt called to do something, whatever that might be. Lonya's family was among the founding Charter members and had been more than active in the early years of Lakeside. I just could not watch it blow apart and probably go to half the number of people attending and enjoying their practices plus fellowship. There was a good chance I could have been called as Pastor if it had blown. My dilemma was the highest paid and most stately smaller congregation in NC would pay me well for only having to preach Sunday Morning!

    When you look at the Early Church, the first major problem was the Greek and Hebrew widows, each thinking the other was better cared for, having a nasty gossip session going that was spoiling the fellowship. They selected 12 "spiritual men" to solve the problem. No details are divulged in the Acts account, but the church resumed its mission without an embarrassing blow out!

    Water Boy is comfortable. Problem solver, when the coach and players are about to fight, is the hard part. Big money keeps you going only so long on pretense. To many "churches of the big show" these days just put their $10 in the offering plate / get entertained and worship that glorious showman called Pastor. If he is beating up on his Staff (most are control freaks) or chasing women (many of them do have their affairs), then "God will take care of it."

    Somehow God uses imperfect people to make his Good News keep on penetrating those searching for love and acceptance by the People of God. The Christian army seems to be the only one that kills its wounded rather than help them heal.