Future Disease … Future Law Suit! | Eastern NC Now

    The year is 2035 and in the United States there is a very high incidence of Skin Cancer of the Nose...

      •  Our intrepid trial lawyers have traced the cause to the fact that during the 1990's the young people of America had started wearing their baseball caps backwards.

      •  This, of course, caused their collective noses to be exposed to the awful and well-known damaging rays of the sun.

      •  Over the ensuing years nearly all of our trusting young people and a significant number of ignorant not young people were having their noses irreparably ravaged by cancer.

      •  The year 2035 finally sees the culprits of this crime begin to get what's coming to them.

      •  A $100,000,000,000 class action law suit has been filed claiming that the manufacturers of baseball caps were extremely negligent because they did not place, inside each baseball cap, a simple warning label that would have told the trusting, but unsuspecting, baseball cap wearers that the putting their baseball caps on backwards could cause this severely disfiguring and traumatic disease.

    Speaking for myself, I am glad that the Trial Lawyers of America are looking out for us all. Since I can see into the future, it fills me with confidence to know that they will be there when we need them in the years come ... for a small fee.

    Would I kid u?
    Smartfella