Sources from Capitol Hill report that Democrats in Congress fled en masse at the sight of a Jew standing up to talk.
Published: Friday, August 23rd, 2024 @ 10:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The mood on Capitol Hill was somber today, as congressional leaders joined Democrats across the nation in ordering flags to be flown at half-staff as former President Donald Trump was tragically not killed in an assassination attempt over the weekend.
Published: Monday, August 19th, 2024 @ 10:35 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Vice President Kamala Harris’ husband, Doug Emhoff, admitted that he cheated on his first wife with the couple’s babysitter after a report was published on Saturday that said the marriage ended after he got the babysitter pregnant.
Published: Wednesday, August 14th, 2024 @ 11:11 am
By: Daily Wire
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Former President has been indicted by a federal judge in Pennsylvania for inciting an assassination attempt that nearly killed him.
Published: Wednesday, August 14th, 2024 @ 1:36 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With school choice being such a hot topic these days, it can be helpful for parents to learn more about what the experiences are like in different learning environments. Though there may be pros and cons to each option, the differences may surprise you.
Published: Wednesday, August 7th, 2024 @ 3:01 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local owner of The Krusty Krab Eugene Krabs is in hot water after newly unsealed documents revealed he visited Weenie Hut Jr's over 50 times over the last 10 years.
Published: Wednesday, August 7th, 2024 @ 6:52 am
By: Babylon Bee
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President Biden carved a few minutes out of his completely wide-open schedule Wednesday to address the nation about his decision to step away from the presidential race, citing his desire to spend more time at home sniffing friends and family.
Published: Wednesday, August 7th, 2024 @ 2:38 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Lifelong Pearl Jam fan Dirk Ledbetter announced a huge personal achievement this weekend on a grunge music forum, claiming he was close to figuring out three of Pearl Jam's lyrics.
Published: Tuesday, August 6th, 2024 @ 10:57 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Is Bidenomics getting you down? With so many people struggling in the current economic environment, it's helpful to know what you can afford.
Published: Tuesday, August 6th, 2024 @ 3:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In response to heavy criticism of his progressive theological views, North Point Community Church Pastor Andy Stanley has issued a public challenge to face the Bible in an MMA fight.
Published: Tuesday, August 6th, 2024 @ 10:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
Published: Saturday, July 20th, 2024 @ 11:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In a controversial new episode of Paw Patrol that aired this week on Nick Jr., Chase gets neutered so he can become the world's first transgender pup.
Published: Friday, July 19th, 2024 @ 2:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In order to let President Biden feel like he is still working, the White House has installed a "Touch-And-Learn" activity desk for Biden to play at while First Lady Jill Biden runs the country.
Published: Friday, July 19th, 2024 @ 2:42 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As everyone now knows, the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling to grant presidents immunity for "official acts" has given Donald Trump unlimited power to do literally anything he wants with zero consequences whatsoever.
Published: Monday, July 15th, 2024 @ 4:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Following a 6-3 ruling from the United States Supreme Court protecting him from prosecution for official acts done while in office, former President Donald Trump released a public statement in which he announced that he is now the most immune president in history.
Published: Monday, July 8th, 2024 @ 12:06 pm
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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Witnesses claim to have seen New York City Mayor Eric Adams quietly blacking out the words of the Statue of Liberty's famous inscription with a permanent marker.
Published: Wednesday, May 15th, 2024 @ 12:40 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As previously sealed documents related to Jeffrey Epstein continued to be released, liberals praised the late disgraced billionaire for not discriminating against disabled persons like Stephen Hawking.
Published: Wednesday, May 15th, 2024 @ 9:08 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The long-awaited release of unredacted portions of court documents related to the late Jeffrey Epstein is upon us, providing everyone with the names of several prominent figures who will never face prosecution or any consequences of any kind.
Published: Tuesday, May 14th, 2024 @ 2:47 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Karine Jean-Pierre Says Biden Has Done More To Preserve Democracy Than Any Other Dictator In HistoryAt a press conference this week, the White House Press Secretary assured members of the media President Biden has done more to preserve democracy in the U.S. than any other totalitarian dictator in history.
Published: Monday, May 6th, 2024 @ 12:12 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A black celebrity took a single conservative position earlier this week, causing conservatives to immediately embrace the celebrity as a conservative icon.
Published: Monday, May 6th, 2024 @ 5:39 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A veritable litany of sage advice pours forth from the stands at every Little League baseball game, but some nuggets of wisdom rise above the rest.
Published: Saturday, May 4th, 2024 @ 10:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Whether he's putting on a beanie and pretending to be a gym rat or putting on a false nose and glasses and pretending to be gay, James O'Keefe is a true master of disguise.
Published: Saturday, May 4th, 2024 @ 9:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In response to the growing outcry over tens of thousands of migrants illegally flooding into the United States, President Joe Biden deployed federal agents to the southern border to help block journalists' cameras.
Published: Sunday, April 7th, 2024 @ 7:56 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former presidential candidate and First Lady Hillary Clinton was seen at a local Bass Pro Shops strolling up and down the aisles looking to buy from the store's selection of sniper rifles.
Published: Sunday, April 7th, 2024 @ 9:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
Published: Thursday, April 4th, 2024 @ 6:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The White House explained today that President Biden's horrific sunburn occurred due to him spreading mayonnaise on his face instead of his ham sandwich, a snafu that could happen to anyone of any cognitive ability.
Published: Tuesday, April 2nd, 2024 @ 11:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Many people are familiar with Dante's famous "9 Circles of Hell," where different categories of pitiful souls spend eternity in horrific torment for their sins.
Published: Saturday, March 30th, 2024 @ 8:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Liberals have voiced a collective warning following the ouster of Harvard President Claudine Gay, stating the removal could lead to a world where people are actually held responsible for their own poor choices.
Published: Saturday, March 30th, 2024 @ 4:59 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Conservative news outlet Daily Wire has been dipping its toes into the entertainment industry as of late, with all-original films such as Lady Ballers, What Is A Woman?, and the upcoming Snow White and the Evil Queen.
Published: Saturday, March 30th, 2024 @ 4:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After the release of unredacted documents related to the Jeffrey Epstein case was suddenly delayed this week, authorities confirmed the unexpected holdup was designed to give Bill Clinton extra time to flee the country.
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2024 @ 10:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a chilling revelation, a tearful Claudine Gay has disclosed that a gang of time-traveling white supremacists went back to the year 1997 and forced her to plagiarize at gunpoint.
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2024 @ 1:54 pm
By: Baba
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It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Published: Thursday, March 28th, 2024 @ 7:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
Published: Wednesday, March 27th, 2024 @ 12:47 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Green Day Releases Edgy New Album Titled 'Get The Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, And Trump Is Bad'Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 11:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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