The Rich Must Be Made To Pay More! | Eastern NC Now

    Since the rich are rich and we now know they are also evil, they ought to be made to pay extra for everything they buy.

    I am calling for all rich being made to wear an ankle bracelet which will identify them as rich. The bracelet will emit a magnet field around their person that will activate a Soak the Rich Computer Chip in every cash register and credit card swiping machine in the country. The chip will calculate into their bill a series of surcharges intended to whittle them down to a proper financial size.

    For starters we could have...

    •+10% just for having too much money. (Definition of "too much" is subject to change.)
    •+5% for being evil.
    •+5% if they own a luxury car.
    •+5% for every vacation home they own.
    •-2% if they own a hybrid car.
    •-5% if they own an electric car. (They will also be given a list of government approved psychiatrist so they can have their heads examined. Seeing a psychiatrist is one of our most proven ways of shrinking banks accounts. It is almost as good as children's braces.)

    By no means am I implying that this is a complete list. I feel certain that a Super Committee of Bureaucrats and Other Concerned Citizens can come up with an expanded list that would turn the majority of the Stinking Rich into the Once Stinking Rich in a manner of a few months.

    If we used to be able to put a man on the moon, we can do this!

    Would I kid u?
    Smartfella