Michael Cohen Tell-All Book on President Trump Reads Like an Amusing Fairytale | Eastern North Carolina Now

Publisher's note: This post appears here courtesy of the LifeZette, and written by David Kamioner.

    Former presidential lawyer turned hoax collaborator Michael Cohen has written a tell-all, yet almost completely fabricated, book entitled "Disloyal, A Memoir: The True Story of the Former Personal Attorney to President Donald J. Trump."

    In case you were wondering about the objectivity of the book, this should give you a clue.

    In the book, Cohen claims to reveal much about the president. It does not. But it reveals much about Mr. Cohen. Like this, directly from his book:

• "The President of the United States wanted me dead. Or, let me say it the way Donald Trump would: He wouldn't mind if I was dead. That was how Trump talked. Like a mob boss, using language carefully calibrated to convey his desires and demands, while at the same time employing deliberate indirection to insulate himself and avoid actually ordering a hit on his former personal attorney, confidant, consigliere, and, at least in my heart, adopted son... All rats deserve to die, I was told. I was a lowlife Judas they were going to hunt down."

    Where do you even begin? The fake mob patois that nobody else ever heard Donald Trump use and — this is so pathetic — the "adopted son" line are both evidence not only of a vivid and bitter imagination but of a personal obsession with the president that borders on the unnatural. And the fake threats to make him seem like a victim? Please. He goes on...

• "For more than a decade, I had been at the center of Trump's innermost circle. When he came to my son's bar mitzvah, a generous gesture that I found touching, he told my then thirteen-year-old boy that his Dad was the greatest and that, if he wanted to work at the Trump Organization when he grew up, there would always be a position for him. 'You're family,' Trump said to my son and I. And I f-ing believed him!"

    Another "family" reference, as in mob family. He's watched "The Godfather" one too many times. He goes on...

• "I knew that the reality was much more complicated and dangerous. Trump had colluded with the Russians, but not in the sophisticated ways imagined by his detractors. I also knew that the Mueller investigation was not a witch-hunt. Trump had cheated in the election, with Russian connivance, as you will discover in these pages, because doing anything — and I mean anything — to 'win' has always been his business model and way of life."

    Here's the bitterness. Trump wins and Cohen then was a player. He said nothing at that point. Then suddenly when Cohen cracks and loses his presidential access, then and only then, is the president a Russian stooge. Right, of course. Cohen offers more fairytale fodder...

• "For more than a decade, I was Trump's first call every morning and his last call every night. I was in and out of Trump's office on the 26th floor of the Trump Tower as many as fifty times a day, tending to his every demand. Our cell phones had the same address books, our contacts so entwined, overlapping and intimate that part of my job was to deal with the endless queries and requests, however large or small, from Trump's countless rich and famous acquaintances. I called any and all of the people he spoke to, most often on his behalf as his attorney and emissary, and everyone knew that when I spoke to them, it was as good as if they were talking directly to Trump."

    This sounds like a jilted girlfriend complaining about her ex. We could go on but you get the drift. The book is only a fantasy work that the press and the Democrats will use as ammo and Cohen will use as a payday to square his legal bills. Nothing else but that.